Loneliness: that terrifying, grey word that we all tuck our tails and run from. When I moved into my college apartment, alone, I began to realize for the first time what it was really like to be left without anyone but myself. I am an introvert through and through, so I am biased towards loving being alone. But for many of my friends and family, being alone is scary and miserable. While this is a foreign concept to me, I can understand exactly why being alone is so troublesome for a lot of people. When we are left alone, we are forced to confront ourselves. We are forced to face our identity, our desires, our intuition, and our choices. It is way easier to be surrounded by the noise of our friends than to confront those nagging feelings in the back of our minds. However, if you never confront yourself, you will never progress. When you truly silence the world around you, and take the time to listen to your body and mind, you begin to recognize your own truth. The only way to “win” at life is to live as authentically as possible, but that can be hard to do when you don’t even know yourself.
It may feel uncomfortable to you at first, but take yourself out on a date. Don’t invite your friends to go watch the sunset with you, go soak in that golden hour in complete autonomy. To be alone is to be free. When you allow yourself to experience the world on your own, you can learn your own preferences and how you want to exist in the universe. I am not saying that there isn’t any value in being with your loved ones, in fact, I am saying the opposite. Being with your loved ones is extremely important and powerful, but in order to be the best friend (or whatever else you are), you have to know what you are bringing to the table. I have seen so many beautiful people who are stuck in terrible relationships, friendships, or damaging behavior cycles because they are just so afraid of being left alone. An awful partner is not better than being by yourself—and if you find yourself falling into these dynamics, it’s time to face the music. Being alone allows you to tap into your own essence, to hear your psyche, to make the changes you need to, and to recharge your empathetic battery so that you can move through the world with a full cup. So, it’s time to quit running from yourself and learn to love the loneliness. Because soon enough, being alone will no longer be lonely, it will be freeing