This past summer, I met my current boyfriend, John*. I was home in Massachusetts for the summer when I met him. John and I started to date in July, a month before I was set to leave for school in Tampa, FL. My friends and family said it was not a smart idea to start dating long distance when it was a new relationship. I did not care as I knew that John was special, and I was not ready to let him go. So John and I continued to date when I went back to school at the end of August 2016.
I have never had a long distance relationship before. It was a new concept to me, and I wondered how it was going to work. Will I be one of those girls who never goes out because her boyfriend is not there? Will I go out one night and drunkenly make a mistake I will regret? I knew there was a lot of work to do, but I was ready for the challenge. Our relationship is still new, but these past few months have taught me a few things:
- Trust
There NEEDS to be trust. Trust is big in any relationship. Trust is even more important in long distance relationships. The relationship will not last long if there is no trust between the two individuals involved. I have learned to trust John, and can say that our relationship is strong because of how much we trust each other. It makes being apart a little bit easier.
2. Communication
Being so far away from each other, communication plays a BIG role in the success of a relationship. Since our relationship was so new, John and I still had a lot of getting to know each other to do. We talked on the phone every day. We video chatted once a week. This helped a lot. Through regular communication, I found out that John and I are more similar than I thought. We share a lot of similar interests, like our love for Asian food and Disney movies. It made us grow a lot closer, and aided in our trust for each other.
3. Personal Time/Space
When dating someone new, you want to spend every minute with them. Being in a long distance relationship, it gives me more free time. Although I spend a lot of time talking with John, we both know that we need to give each other space to do our own thing. John is really good about giving me my space. He understands that when I am spending time with friends, I should not be glued to my phone talking to him. We are not overbearing, and understand when the other person is busy. There is no jealousy and misunderstandings. We communicate when we need time to ourselves, and respect each other’s personal time.
In four short months, I believe that John and I have led a successful relationship. We respect each other’s space, and do not pick fights over small things. We communicate with each other frequently, but know we need to spend time with our roommates and friends as well. By doing those two things alone, we have created an enormous amount of trust for each other. I think those few details are essential to a happy long distance relationship.
*Name has been changed to protect identity of real person.