It feels so surreal finally writing this, I’ve been meaning to since August, but I originally didn’t want to because honestly? It hurts. I was so close with them, but I’ve recently gotten tired of this whole shtick that sororities are all about their philanthropies and wholesomeness, including this “sisterhood” ideology (which is more like a fallacy)—girls who are supposed to stick together and be there for each other seemed like such a great thing to be a part of, especially coming from a small town where I never really had a support system of my own, but as all of you know, you find out a person’s true colors when sh** hits the fan.
By sh**, I mean sh**. Back in August, I saw that this one fraternity held—get ready for it—an actual MASK-OFF party. Like, way more than 50 students must have gone. It was the FIRST WEEK BACK AT SCHOOL, classes haven’t even started yet, and you have these privileged, benefiting-off-their-rich-daddy individuals who don’t care about anyone but themselves and their own selfish fun. Imagine actually thinking that’s okay, in the midst of a pandemic, I just, wow. I honestly couldn’t believe it.
I am VERY vocal about my political and “controversial” stances, especially on social media. I have a pretty big following on my Instagram, (@yilianmairet, hehe little promo) and I felt like I was doing the right thing by calling out this specific fraternity, how anyone can support them is mind-blowing to me but oh well, I digress, I definitely didn’t think I was going to get the backlash I ended up receiving. From random girls in other sororities to closeted-racist frat boys, my DMs were flooded with insults, threats, etc.
So, this affected me a little bit. I’m not gonna lie here. I am confident, strong, all that good stuff, but I’ll admit, everyone has a limit. So, silly little me decided to confide in my “sisterhood”, telling them about how awful I felt and how anxiety-inducing this all was.
And what was I met with? “Take the letters out of your bio”, because “trash-talking” a fraternity (that was kicked off-campus, mind you) is worse than speaking out about a life-endangering situation. I’m a caregiver to an immunocompromised woman. I have friends who are immunocompromised. This clearly is an important issue not just for me, but for the millions the virus has affected, and those who actually listen to science and not the ramblings of conservatives who preach, “BuT tHeRe’S a HiGh sUrViVaL RaTe” as if there hasn’t been over 400,000 deaths. WHICH is 400,000 too many, and that’s just counting the deaths in America, but I guess millions have to die before people care.
Anyways, going back to the sorority BS, I was basically met with only a handful of girls who actually genuinely cared, and for them, I’ll always be grateful. But the problem is that there wasn’t this whole sisterhood feeling, I had lost it.
I lost it and I missed it, and dropping the sorority just a week or two later, it made me feel terrible. I realized I was looking forward to loads of things with them: philanthropy events, “socially-distanced” gatherings, and being a part of things bigger than myself.
After a few days, one night I was working at my school library, and a close friend of mine, (who was actually in the same sorority, and she dropped it as well because of what I went through) came in and gave me a flower with a heartfelt note saying:
“Little reminder that your voice can change the world, and you have a badass group of women (and non-binary babies) with you every step of the way.”
This little note meant the world to me. I DID have the sisterhood-bond I’ve always wanted, and it’s all because of Her Campus. They called me a role model, an example of strength and courage. I’m getting emotional writing this because of how much love and support I felt because of this, and I truly do not regret a single thing I posted back in August.
I’ve been realizing more and more that sororities are classist, toxic, and downright full of girls who care more about parties and recruitment, rather than their own philanthropies and the moral values of the women who founded them in the first place. It’s sad, honestly, how ugly this whole situation has gotten, even to this day. But hey, I’ve never felt better nor more proud of myself than now.
*important disclaimer, I’m not speaking about every girl in sororities and not every boy in fraternities. this is about MY experience, and that’s it.