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If I could go back in time and talk to any younger version of myself they would be SHOOK that I’ve made it so long. Through each depressive episode, coping with the fear of disappointing everyone, to just wanting to dissipate into the unknown. I’m so grateful to be alive, and to be the person I am today.

Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved not having to go through half the ish I had to deal with. However, I took each challenge and trauma inducing incident and tried to make myself better. To treat others with the compassion and patients that I would’ve been so grateful to have; to continue using what time I have on this planet the best I can. 

Even as the deepening waves of sadness begin to wash over sections of my mind, I wouldn’t change it. Grant I would love to not be a mental mess, but it’s who I am, and I’ve been able to find friends that accept and love me for the mess I am.

Getting back to the main point, I’m turning 21!! The world is my oyster and I wanted to give homage to 21 things I’m grateful to have, and to have experienced in my life.

  1. Therapy, it has helped me more than I ever realized
  2. Supporting mom and siblings
  3. Getting a higher education
  4. Music
  5. Finding the geeky niche in high school
  6. Photos of past events with people I don’t talk to anymore
  7. Hours long conversations with friends
  8. Hands on experience as a STEM major
  9. Understanding teachers and professors 
  10. Private euphonium lessons, not only allowed me to become a better musician but also was a safe space during one of my darkest periods
  11. Camping in the wilderness
  12. Girl Scouts
  13. Writing poetry
  14. Admiring art
  15. Being in theatre while in high school
  16. Being employed in a pandemic
  17. Amazing coworkers
  18. Always having a roof over my head and food in my stomach 
  19. Going to movies with friends 
  20. Late night car rides with friends and blasting music 
  21. Being alive
Learning, failing, and growing to become a better person, scientist, and writer. Marine biology major with a passion in the arts and wanting to see and create change.
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