I never really struggled with acne until I turned sixteen. All of sudden, my acne got to that point when it was painful and my face was full of bumps. I did not know where it came from or why my acne suddenly got so bad. I started to wear my hair down and I always got anxious when I was without makeup around people, such as on the beach. I just felt so embarrassed for my acne and felt ugly, even in front of my family (and they were always the most supportive ones about my acne).
My journey with my acne began in 2017 when it got out of control. I was visiting a dermatologist every month, looking for the solution. At first I was trying different types of face masks and creams from the dermatologist, but it was not enough. Later, she prescribed me some pills that were supposed to stop my inflamed acne. I took them only for two months since it gave me bad side effects such as very dry lips and skin, which was supposed to be part of the process, but I also felt more moody since taking them. So instead, I got antibiotics for another few months to cure acne. It was getting a bit better but it never came to that point when I would feel like my face is looking good and healthy again.
This whole process took me about a year and half. In 2019, I wasn’t taking any pills anymore, because I honestly just gave up on my skin. I tried different products and pills and also tried to eat better. I never really found out the real cause of my acne, but after a while, I realized one thing. When my acne got really bad in 2017, it was the time when I was most stressed out; it wasn’t really my best year and I heard many times how stress can affect our skin, so I think that was one of the main causes.
I did not want to take pills anymore because I stopped believing in the recovery of my acne. It was because it always got a bit better when I took the pills, but once I was done with them, my acne got always worse again. It never had lasting results.
I was using so much make up every morning before school just to cover my acne. When I was at sleepover with my friends, I would wake up earlier to cover my acne just so they don’t see how it looks when I wake up. I felt so uncomfortable without makeup and I just never really learned to accept it. There have been many times when I cried over my acne because I believed it would never go away since I thought I tried everything possible from pills, to lasers and different products.
Later in 2019 me and my mum found a clinic where they were doing laser called Smoothbeam that was supposed to stop the acne and also help to get rid of the scars. I thought I would give it a try, and honestly I’m glad I did, because that was the first thing in these whole years that started to actually help my acne. I saw immediate results just after the first appointment and how my scars were slowly fading away.
However, at the clinic I was told by the dermatologist that one last thing I did not try yet to cure my acne was birth control and that I should give it a try. At first I didn’t really want to take it since I knew the possible side effects, but I just wanted to help my acne in recovery, so I did and got one especially for treating acne.
I expected that it would work right away, but since it can take at least 3 months for the birth control to see some improvements in the acne, my acne got really bad once I started to take the pills. It started to look the same as a few years back and I got so upset and was regretting that I started to take the pills, since my skin finally started to look better after years. However I was told not to give up and give it a few more months until my hormones will settle down from the pill, so I encouraged myself and I gave it a chance.
Now it’s been 4 months since I’m on the birth control and I feel like it finally started to work for my skin. Most of my acne is gone and my face finally feels smooth again after 3 years without feeling any acne. Of course, sometimes something small occurs on my face, which is normal, but now the only thing that is visible on my face are the scars. However, soon I will get the laser I did before again to slowly get rid of my scars and I believe that finally after this long journey, my face is finally starting to heal.
I have lost a lot of self confidence during these few years when my acne was really bad, no matter how many times I was trying to convince myself that it doesn’t define me and it doesn’t make me less beautiful, but it was really hard for me to believe it.
It’s been a really long journey, and I wanted to share my story with you in case you are suffering from the acne as well, because there is always some treatment that will work for you, even if it may take a while to find out what it is, like it did for me.