The first thing that pops up into anyones head when they hear the words long distance and college relationships is that it’s ‘not going to work’.
Okay thank you for voicing your opinion, Negative Nancy. You are just one of the many that have given me your opinion when I CLEARLY did not ask for it. I am here to advocate that it can work and will work, if you both put in the energy and time. I have been going strong during this whole long distance rollercoaster for a while now, and let me tell you, it ain’t easy. But it’s so worth it! You get to truly appreciate the quality time you get with each other and learn how to express love in different ways.
Let’s start off in the beginning, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. Moving did cause a mini-impact in our relationship. We both knew we wanted to try long distance and continue our relationship, so we went for it. I wish there was a book on ‘How To Do Long Distance’, but honestly we just have to learn ourselves and find what’s best for our relationship. Every relationship is different, not one is alike. So it is okay if the tips I provide for you do not match correctly with your relationships.
Some Tips for Long Distance;
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Honestly, it takes the time to learn each other’s love language and how to express affection through it. My love language is Words of Affirmations and my boyfriend had to learn how to express love the way I like it to be expressed. We send handwritten letters to each other every month for our anniversary.
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Set a routine of daily calls (FaceTime calls or regular calls). This will make you guys have something to look forward to throughout the day. My boyfriend and I make sure to call each other to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ every day.
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COMMUNICATE! This is a big one. Always make sure to communicate throughout the day even if you are busy. A quick one minute call, or text expressing how you won’t be available throughout the day could save the relationship. If I am busy and cannot talk for a couple of hours due to class or homework, I always make sure he knows. How annoying is it if your significant other hasn’t answered your messages for over a couple of hours?
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Learn that you can continue your life without him in the same school as you. Go out girly! Go get coffee with your roommate. Don’t stay in your dorm sad that you can’t see him. You can continue with your life and him as well. Having friends to distract you is a good thing. You will feel super happy, I promise you!
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And lastly, be patient. You are doing long distance for a reason. It is not for the long term. A couple of years and before you know it, you guys are together once again. I came to Tampa to further my education and expand my choices. I will be doing long distance for a couple of years but I know that after those years, my boyfriend and I will be together.
Don’t give up, long distance is hard and challenging but you have to choose who you want to build with and who’s worth the fight. You got this!