By Ashton Keaton
As they say, all good things must come to an end. To finalize my series on the magnificent Sex and the City ladies, I am going to talk about the ultimate girl boss herself— Miranda Hobbes. From her tenacity in her career as a lawyer to her braveness in navigating motherhood, Miranda showed women around the world exactly what it means to have it all, even if doing so looks a little bit different than the fairy tales.
#1: You Can Do It All (But Maybe Not at the Same Time)
Throughout the six seasons of SATC, we watched Miranda fiercely execute her career goals as a high-powered lawyer in the New York City scene. She faced the challenges that every woman who values her career does: sexism in the office, issues with men about her ability to financially provide for herself, and even the sacrifice of important life moments for a career that can sometimes be all-consuming. I really appreciated that we saw Miranda become a partner at her law firm and give her all to her career, because it is important that women have a character on screen who unapologetically loves her job, status, and goals. However, I think Miranda also showed us something else related to her career that was equally as important.
When Miranda found out she was pregnant unexpectedly, and subsequently had her son, we saw first-hand the battle she experienced between being the “perfect mother” and the “perfect lawyer”. Miranda’s transition to motherhood gave me so much insight into what I believe it must be like to be a working mother, as she had to let go of her perfectionism in both categories in order to maintain her sanity. So often women are told and expected to “do it all”; society wants us to be savvy career women, good relationship partners, and excellent mothers all at the exact same time with no room for error. I think Miranda really demonstrated that this is not possible for anyone to achieve; therefore, we as women do not need to carry around this ridiculous burden of not being “the best” at everything all at once. Miranda had her moment where her career was her entire life, and she also had her moment where her baby took absolute precedent, and ultimately she found the (semi) sweet spot where she could balance all of her identities. We can learn from Miranda that you don’t have to be perfect at everything at once, you just have to enjoy your life in every sense to the best of your abilities.
#2: Love Is Not “One Size Fits All”
I am sure that everyone here can think of the classic “love script” as delineated by culture, media, and society with extreme ease due to its prevalence: rich boy meets beautiful, yet coy; career-driven, yet not-the =-breadwinner; virginal, yet sexually-skilled girl. Girl is won over by grand romantic gestures until they eventually marry and she becomes obsessed with being with him 24/7 and can’t wait to have a million of his babies and be devoted to him for life. I hope you can feel my cynicism as you read this, because I am SO sick of this stereotype for what love is and how it should be experienced. The belief that everything has to be grand, romantic and all-consuming sets everyone up for failure in relationships. Women question themselves if they don’t feel the need to live inside their boyfriend’s skin (metaphorically of course) and also question their partner’s devotion to them if they are not waking up to a dozen red roses every morning. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that we shouldn’t expect our partners to spend quality time with us and perform thoughtful gestures, but I am saying that we shouldn’t devalue our relationships due to this archetype if we are, in fact, happy in our own right.
Miranda really imparted this lesson on me because she experienced love as defined by her, not as defined by society. When Steve was too mushy, or not mushy enough, she turned to her own feelings rather than what society told her in order to evaluate her relationship satisfaction. When her and Steve went on their “romantic” honeymoon, she embraced her downright repulsion at the thought of spending every second in newlywed bliss tangled up with Steve, and recognized that this did not mean she didn’t love her husband, but rather that her version of love just looked different than what everyone else believed it should be. I think this is such an important lesson because we are saturated in modern times with images and messages about what we don’t have and what our partner is not doing, and sometimes it can be hard to keep the perspective that different relationships require different things. Miranda showed her love for Steve not by baking him pies and lavishing him with kisses every day when he got home, but rather by supporting him through love languages of her own accord.
In conclusion, Sex and the City is a show that has forever changed me. Prior to becoming entrenched in the franchise, I never really understood the pop culture obsession with SATC and the way it seemed to permeate so deeply into the personality of many women. However, once you really watch the show, you realize that SATC has provided a voice to many women who previously were voiceless and unrepresented within the media. It may seem silly to want to take life lessons from fictional characters and storylines, but the experiences of the 4 main characters are so eerily accurate to those in real-life that I believe so much can be gleaned from these moments on screen. As Otto von Bismarck said, “Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others”. Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda truly taught me so much about myself, my friends, my relationships, and the world around me, and for that I will always be grateful.