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I Have a Habit of not Saying, “No”. Help!

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Tampa chapter.

I have a habit of not saying no to people. I want to be there for everyone, so when someone asks me for assistance, a favor, or any part of me I say, “yes.”

My initial reaction is that I feel bad if I say, “no.”

The guilt eats me up inside.

I’ve come to realize I cannot pour into people when I am not poured into myself. How can I be there for people when I haven’t been there for myself? You cannot be your best self for others when you are not okay inside mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When you run around being there for people it’s easy to lose yourself in the process.

When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself. You matter.

Here is my reassurance for you. By saying no, it does not mean you’re a bad person by any means. There will come to a point you will break by not taking care of yourself. Your soul needs to be tended to, restored, your body needs rest. You deserve it, Queen! You are allowed to take a break. You are allowed to say, “no.”

Here are three things I have implemented in my life:

  1. Remember boundaries. Take a step back and do not let others take your kindness to an advantage.
  2. You’re one person! You will be pulled into so many directions by others! You can’t be Super Woman for everybody!! BREATHE
  3. Surrender your problems. Whether you believe in God or any higher, spiritual being I’ve come to realize there is a bigger being in this world who can take care of me through the chaos of my life.

These things reassure me each day when challenged by life’s problems, and I hope as you read you are not alone.

Xoxo

– Kris

Mabuhay! (Welcome) My goal is to strengthen and empower the voice of women by talking about real-life experiences, struggles, and honest moments we experience on campus and in every day life.
Emely is a rising junior at The University of Tampa. She studies advertising and PR with a focusing on digital marketing. When she isn't bumping to J Cole, Drake or Aventura she's reading up on anything astrological, or editing photos for her food IG. As a New York City native, she loves exploring the cities micro-neighborhoods for their cuisine, music, and fashion. If you want to know more about Emely, follow her on Instagram - @aemiliatertia - or Twitter - @ThatEmely