Trying to make plans with people can be a real hassle. This is because many people are so unreliable. Like seriously, reliability is such an underrated quality. Flakiness is a pet peeve of mine. When you’re being flaky, you are disrespecting the other person’s time. They’ve blocked out time from their busy schedule to hang out with you. If you cancel at the last minute or commit a no-show, your friend will no longer have plans. They could’ve used that blocked time to hang out with a more trustworthy friend. When you cancel without a good reason or don’t show up, you’re telling the world that you’re not reliable. Because of this, you’ll be brought down to a lower tier of friendship, which is not something you’d want if this friendship is important to you. Here are some rules that the invitation sender and receiver should follow in order to eliminate wasted time and resentment.
For the Receiver:
1. Do not automatically say yes to an invitation just because you’re excited or you want to be polite.
Michaela: “Hey Britney, do you want to see Doja Cat with me next weekend?”
Britney: “Oh my god yesssss!!!! That sounds like so much fun!”
*Fast forward to two nights before the concert, no messages from Britney*
Michaela: “Britney I’m so excited to see Doja with you!”
Britney: “I’m not sure if I can go with you anymore. I have a lot of exams to study for.”
*Fast forward to the morning of the concert, still no messages from Britney*
Michela: “Hey, do you know if you’re coming to the concert?”
Britney: “Sorry, I can’t come.”
See how annoying this is? Michela assumed that Britney would be able to come to the concert with her because she initially said yes. Then, when Britney wasn’t sure if she’d be able to come, she never told Michaela. Michaela practically had to pry an answer out of her. If Britney had been transparent with Michaela about her indecisiveness from the beginning, Michaela could’ve found someone else to go to the concert with her. If you’re not sure if you’ll be able to attend certain plans, just say so at the beginning. If you can’t go, or you don’t want to go, tell the other person ASAP. This will eliminate uncertainty for both parties.
2. Let the invitation giver know as soon as possible whether or not you will accept the invite.
3. Be aware that if you can’t accept the invitation, another possibility is to offer an alternative plan.
Michaela: “Hey Britney, do you wanna grab dinner with me tomorrow night?”
Britney: “Sorry, I can’t. I have to study for an exam that I have tomorrow. Would you wanna grab dinner Saturday night instead?”
Britney is unavailable, but she still wants to hang out with Michaela, so she makes an effort to reschedule.