I’ve been an avid user of the app Tinder since my 18th birthday. Not looking for anything serious, and as my bio reads, “I’m only here for the corny pick-up lines.” Being on the app for over a year now, I’ve found some helpful tips based on my very real encounters:
1. Do start the chat with a corny pickup line- preferably one that engages the match without sounding too overpowering or uncomfortable
2. Don’t start off by addressing them as a “beautiful vanilla woman in need of dark chocolate”
3. Do make a complimentary statement about your newfound match
4. Don’t offer your face as a newfound piece of furniture
5. Do have something in your bio that could be used as a conversation starter
6. Don’t say you’re a professional athlete for a team that doesn’t exist, because Google does
7. Do put your actual age
8. Don’t be “21” but you’re actually a “few years younger”- Five years is more than “a few,” I don’t care if you can grow facial hair
9. Do offer to bring food to a first hang out to break the ice
10. Don’t bring soup for a match that has recently been sick, and then ask to do hand stuff with them, since she’s currently contagious and you’re “not tryna get ill, ya feel??”
11. Do pick a public location for a first date
12. Don’t show up blazed out of your mind to see Goosebumps…then trip out and refuse to sit within five seats of your date
13. Do offer to hold their hand, or even cuddle if both parties are comfortable
14. Don’t LICK YOUR DATE THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET. DO NOT DO IT. EVER.
15. Do offer to meet up for fast food for a quick meet
16. Don’t offer to bring them Taco Bell, then don’t do it
Seriously
I still really want that Taco Bell
You offered for four nights in a row and never pulled through