Do you frequently find yourself minimizing your self-worth by comparing yourself to others? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. Comparison is a natural instinct and, in some cases, can even be necessary. Comparison becomes unhealthy, however, when one depends on using it as a way of measuring their own success and worth.
Comparison through evolution
From an evolutionary standpoint, humans have always compared themselves to others. Whether it was to ensure they maintained social classes within civilizations or to measure their attributes for proper social development, a comparison was a natural response from early humans. In these cases, comparison and competition helped to mediate the social traits we have now. Humans, however, were never meant to have constant access to people’s lives.
Comparison through social media
Our generation struggles with the toxicity of comparison more than any other group of people. Collectively, most can agree that social media has played a large role in this. Like most people in our generation, I downloaded Instagram at a young age. As a 12- 12-year-old, I was overwhelmed with the power of having unlimited access to everyone and everything at my fingertips. Suddenly, my frizzy hair, acne-prone skin, amount of friends, and flawed life fell right into the center of my mind.
My usage of social media directly correlated with almost all of my insecurities. In less than a five-minute social media scroll, I would learn that Bethany Mota didn’t have acne, Emily’s rich family took her to Europe, Kate had more friends than me, Noah did a tbh and rate and gave me an 8 instead of “broke my scale,” etc.
As I have gotten older, however, my ways of utilizing comparison on social media have grown alongside me. Now I compare myself to TikToks of girls who have strong work ethics, Instagram accounts of girls that guys choose over me, and Pinterest posts of people with my dream wardrobe. Since insecurities tend to change over time, you manage to find ways to look for these traits (or lack of) in other people.
It is important to use social media mindfully and remind yourself that you are only getting a small glimpse of someone else’s life. Everyone struggles with their own insecurities that may not be shown on social media. In fact, posts are always strategically planned and serve as an external performance for everyone to see.
Embracing Individualism
Comparison can easily be replaced by a more individualistic perspective. In other words, mind your own business. The only person that can truly control your life is yourself. Rather than wasting time comparing yourself to others, you can take time to understand and appreciate yourself. Your success, worth, appearance, and personality should only be determined and measured by your own satisfaction with your life.
In a world that celebrates similarities and likeness, do not be afraid to break the mold and embrace your differences. The more you try to replicate other people, the more often you will compare yourself to them. Acknowledge your unique, individual strengths and be grateful for everything you offer to the world. This will help you become content with yourself and appreciate your individual journey through life.
“Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude”
Michelle Obama