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Communication is, without a doubt, one of the hardest, yet most important, factors in a relationship. Whether it’s communication during sex, an argument or just the normal day-to-day, no relationship will thrive unless everything that is needed to be said is said.

A relationship without appropriate and unfiltered communication is one doomed towards being short-lived. If you can’t tell your partner you don’t want to have sex that night, or you can’t say that you feel like they aren’t listening to you when you are frustrated about work, then there is no trust in that relationship. 

In long distance relationships, communication becomes the only thing partners have left. There is no physical touch, no easy way to give gifts, no other love language that is quite as necessary as the spoken word. 

In most long distance relationships, you will run into some roadblocks during the prolonged time apart. For example, you may run out of things to talk about. You feel the constant urge to be with your partner, yet the same, run-down and tired conversations come up. Eventually you find yourself annoyed with the constant compliments they give to fill in the empty space, and the love declarations that are announced every few minutes. You feel the sudden urge to debate about how the dinosaurs died, or if the world is flat or spherical. This is normal, and something every couple goes through. Many determine it as the “dry-spell” of LDRs–but instead of no more sex its no more conversation topics. So, if you’ve run out of conversation topics, maybe create a list of things to talk about throughout the day, and bring it up during a phone call later that night. These can be things such as what alien species would you want to be and why, all the way to why Marvel is better than DC.

Another huge issue in communication in long distance is actually miscommunication. Miscommunication can happen whether you are 3-feet apart or 3,000 miles apart. In cases of misinterpretation of your partner’s words, it can cause unnecessary hurt feelings, which is why it is so important to ask follow-up questions if you aren’t sure what exactly your partner meant when they said that your “concerns are valid”. Did they mean they agreed with your concerns and they should be causes of worry? Or maybe they meant that they see where you are coming from and made a mental note to not make you feel those concerns again. The only way you’ll figure this out is by asking “what exactly did you mean by saying my concerns are valid?”. Yes, this takes more communication, but that’s what this is all about.

Finally, one last huge fear surrounding LDRs is the basic fear of missing out, or FOMO. Many partners get insecure, possessive, jealous, and/or accusatory during their time apart, and that can lead to more and more issues. If you have a concern about who your partner is going out with, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If they have nothing to hide, they won’t hide anything. If you, for some reason, believe that your partner will cheat on you when you’re miles apart, bring it up. Talk about it. Create a dialogue to let your dark, toxic thoughts out into the air so they don’t poison your heart. However, statistically, it was found in several studies that people in LDRs do not cheat more often than those in close-range relationships. If you have a fear that your significant other(s) is cheating, talk about it.

To end this on a positive note, though, there are so many positive factors that come out of Long Distance Relationships:

  1. It’s less likely that you’ll confuse lust for love

  2. Your verbal skills will grow stronger

  3. You’ll have a better understanding of yourself and your needs

There’s no reason to fear, dread, or refuse to partake in a Long Distance Relationship. It is actually a valid and bonding experience for a lot of successful couples. It is not for everyone, but do not dismiss something before you give it a try, as long as it will not do you nor those around you any harm.

College kid just trying to survive
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