Over the past year in my life, I have recognized a lot of change. Good and bad. I lost many friends but gained new ones. I changed with regards to a lot of my preferences and the things I like and dislike. I’ve gone out and tried new things out of my comfort zone. The person I am now I definitely was not a year ago and I don’t think a year ago I would’ve known how much I would have grown as a human and how much I have changed for the better. I can honestly say I am living “my best life” and I am happy once again. My point is, that life is going to throw curve balls at you at any direction and at any time. You can’t really prepare for these, but what you can do is adapt to this change and work around these changes. I know for me I hate change. I am a very scheduled and organized person. If something doesn’t go the way I planned it, then it feels like my whole life is over. It’s great to plan out your life whether if it’s for the day, the week, or even where you see yourself in 5 years. Set those goals, and set those mile-marks within your life. I think that one thing you need to embrace and accept is that life is not going to go according to your ideal plan. It is going to have crazy twists and turns and the way you respond to it will ultimately test your strength and courage. I read a quote about a month ago that has resonated with me since. It was “Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” The way in which we react to change in our lives can really impact ourselves and the decisions we make. Here are some of the life lessons that I have learned in just one year:
1. Understand your mistakes.
We all can admit to these mistakes and sometimes before we make decisions we fail to think about the repercussions or the consequences. Life always has a way of showing us why we did something wrong and gives us a little taste of our own medicine. It sucks, I know, but part of maturity is being able to humble yourself and having the ability to acknowledge your mistakes, fix them, and move on for the better. You just cannot change the past. The decisions you make will impact everything in your life in the future. The past does hurt, but you cannot dwell on it. Take a deep breath and move on. Go do something productive to get a fresh start! The sun rises every morning to remind us that we too can have fresh starts if we have the right mindset.
2. Forgive.
Throughout life many people will do wrong to you and hurt your feelings. Don’t deny those feelings. Let it hurt you, it is okay to cry and it is okay to have feelings. We are human. Let it sting until you have had enough. It is hard, but many things you have to just LET GO. Take a deep breath and know in your heart that things will get better and you will heal. Healing is a whole process in itself, but you cannot heal if you haven’t let go of the past and forgiven those who have hurt you. It’s hard to forgive, but it also shows a difference in your character. Most importantly, forgive YOURSELF. I have done and said many things that I wish I could take back or press a button to start all over again. But I just can’t, and that’s life. Forgive yourself for the many things you regret, and feel that weight being lifted off of you. It is okay to be imperfect, and I think that the changes in life will really let you accept who you are and what you have to offer to the world.
3. Love.
After you forgive others and yourself, remember to always love. This by far is the hardest thing to do. It is so easy to get angry or annoyed at people. But I like to think about this in a bigger picture. There is so much hate in this world. Imagine the small changes and acts of love that you can do and how that one act can change one person… it’s a ripple effect. Sometimes I think the easy way out of things is to get angry with everybody and I will just live my life on my own.* During the day, I have to stop myself and remind myself to love everyone and to be kind, as cliche as this sounds. It really changes you and gives you such a positive outlook on your life and will deeply impact everyone around you.
4. Trust your journey.
At times I feel like I experienced my pain and change early so I can help others now. I have many friends going through changes and loss and they have a hard time adapting to it. Many of these friends also saw who I was a year ago and how much of an emotional wreck I was with a constant fear of never being good enough. Then I tell them to look at me now. How much I have grown. How much independence I have gained. How much happier I am. It truly is a blessing to see these changes in my life as it unfolded and I am so excited to see what else is in store for me. Sometimes I do look back and still feel the hurt in my heart, but without that experience, who knows where I would be today! I changed for the better and I am still learning, but I have never been happier.
My advice to you lovely ladies is to accept life’s changes. Embrace it all. These changes, good and bad, will change you in response. You have so much in store for you during your life. Stop trying to control everything, just let things go and let life happen. Focus on your best self, try new things, meet new people, travel! Do whatever it takes to find your happiness and your peace. You’d be surprised to see who you become on this journey. And remember: life’s setbacks are only a SMALL part of your journey… so don’t let it control you!