The Start:
The last few months have been the most draining, most heart-wrenching, and most soul-crushing months I’ve ever dealt with. Since the University of Tampa (and a whole lot of other schools) closed down on March 13, I’ve been at home. And for some, it may be nice and wholesome, but for me, it was actual utter hell. Honestly. My home life is actually okay. It’s just being lonely, and having to sleep in the same bed that I have too many memories in that does it for me. My bathroom floor, many times, has been my haven. My little study room, it fit claustrophobia to a T. My depression skyrocketed, and I started taking medication to help treat it. However, I still felt empty. In an article I wrote back in April, I mentioned that no contact is the way to go with certain people, but I didn’t mention how absolutely hard and painful it is to let them go. I’ve grown up with them, they know all my secrets and I know theirs, of course, it’s gonna be hard not to think of them 24/7.
I am a big advocate for mental health, so I don’t mind sharing publicly about my issues, in the hope that someone reads this and puts effort into helping themselves. I was diagnosed with a few mental illnesses, and I’ve been getting treated for them like I mentioned above, but I still felt that emptiness growing and growing in my heart every day.
I’ve always been interested in astrology, tarot cards, and meditation, but I never really dived deep into spirituality as a whole. I was desperate, needing to find any means possible to help me heal from my own personal traumas, and I did (or, in better terms, I’ve actively started to put in the work to do so). Spirituality as defined by Alfred James, a man I happened to stumble across online, wrote “Spirituality is an internal sanctuary, free of the rules and expectations of the physical world, It is a place where one can submit to one’s mortality and rest properly, without worry, anxiety, desire and striving.” And of course, this sounded so appealing to me, so I decided to…dive deep.
The Work:
I started looking into a myriad of things: manifestation, shadow work, angel numbers and their meanings, etc. It’s still mind boggling to me how amazing the internet can be, with copious amounts of resources to go through, even with TikTok itself. I first learned about manifestation because of it. I watched an insane amount of videos with tips on how to do it correctly, and I now feel confident enough in giving you instructions:
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Decide on how you want to manifest – There are tons of different ways and methods you can try! I personally have a journal dedicated to manifestation, but other methods are, and are not limited to: post-it notes, spoken phrases, you can use any techniques that work for you, it’s basically affirmations made real!
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Sit down, relax, and let your mind wander (positively!) – Manifestation is all about the Law of Attraction. The law states that thoughts attract actions, like if you’re just giving negative connotations to everything going on around you, there is a greater chance of things getting worse or your emotions seeming to be more berserk. During this time of relaxation, think about what you truly want. Even write some of these things down! You can take as much time as you need to, there’s no rush.
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Focus on the purpose – What are you manifesting? Why do you want the Universe to help you with what you want to bring to reality. By meditating, visualizing, and focusing on what the reasoning behind your manifestations are, and keeping negative roadblocks away from your mind, you will begin to feel more grounded. And then eventually, everything will fall into place.
Once you keep seeing repeating numbers, (angel numbers), you’ll know you’re on the right path (My personal favorite is 222). Some other signs that your manifestations are close include: overhearing others talk about your same goals, feeling optimistic out of nowhere, and coming across posts online having to do with what you’ve been visualizing.
Of course, spirituality as a whole isn’t all self-healing, it has only given me the confidence that I can heal on my own. By putting in the work, giving myself time to really research otherworldly beings and methods on how to connect better with our world, I’ve really realized my true potential. And that everything traumatic that has passed, is in the past, and you can be the person you want to be, too!
In 2020, my homies and I respect and love the earth, and that love gets to circulate all around us <3. I just simply wanted to announce my passion for spirituality and its practices, how it has helped me form my true personality, and face the sides of me I disliked immensely; but now it’s safe to say that I truly do love who I’ve become, and I’m so excited to get into this all even more.
Whilst this quarantine did suck in its entirety, I can’t help but be a little grateful that it allowed me to really assess myself completely and helped me realize what truly matters in my life: to stay in the present and enjoy every moment instead of counting down the hours until something goes wrong.
And just as a bonus, i’ll list some quotes here that might inspire you to do the same research I did:
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“Spiritual process is not about chanting a mantra or closing your eyes, spiritual process is essentially about enhancing your perception.” – Sadhguru
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“Religion is belief in someone else’s experience. Spirituality is having your own experience.” – Deepak Chopra
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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” —Buddha