A long time ago, my mom told me that you have to learn to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. Being young, and a self-diagnosed hopeless romantic, I thought she was just trying to make me feel better about the fact that none of my love conquests worked out in my favor. Something about candles, and long drives at night with the love of your life, and the sound of waves crashing on an empty beach just seemed too special to be spent alone. As I got older, I realized something. These things are not limited to falling hopelessly in love, and they never have been.
While, yes I do want all of that sappy, love stuff, recently I was able to figure something out. We, as a species, have been conditioned to believe that if we aren’t in these beautiful, epic romances, that there is something wrong with us. That we’re broken, somehow. And while I’ll be the first to admit that I had always dreamed of that, and it took me twenty years to realize this; being loved romantically by another doesn’t make us whole, so how could not being loved by someone like that make us broken? If you are living your perfect movie romance, I think that’s amazing. Hold on to that person. But if you’re like me, and you’re still figuring it all out, remember you are still loved unconditionally by someone.
Your best friend probably loves how terribly you drive when you’re screaming to your favorite song, and your mom loves hearing you laugh at your own joke, and your dog loves the way you skip a little when you walk them.
Personally, one of my favorite parts of life is falling in love a little bit with everything. I love the way candles make my room glow when I’m watching movies alone on a rainy Tuesday night, and long drives down Bayshore at night with my best friends, my platonic soulmates, and I love the sound of waves crashing on an empty beach with only the sound of my thoughts to keep me company.
For the record, you will find that amazing movie romance you’ve always wanted, if that’s what you want. We all do, eventually. But it’s okay to fall in love with the little things along the way, and it’s even better to fall in love with the person you see when you look in the mirror.
So while I hate admitting I’m wrong, I’ll give you this one, Mom. Love yourself first. Love life first. It’s okay. You deserve this.