This past week has challenged me with what seems like a never-ending pour of the heaviest apathetic responses to what I would describe as emotionally sensitive situations.
A friend canceling set plans, a parent’s lack of sympathy towards a mental breakdown, teachers subtly bashing your work, people straight up ignoring you. These are a few lesser degree examples of what seems to be a greater issue that has become more prevalent amongst us as a community. We have forgotten about compassion, kindness, and patience.
Empathy.
A quick google search of this word will give you this definition: em·pa·thy
noun
- the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Being aware of the way other people feel, and being able to put yourself aside so you can respond to their needs appropriately is an extraordinarily underrated skill. Since we can only truly know what’s going on in our own heads, it’s easy to fall into a self-centered cycle where the needs of the people around us become nonexistent.
I know I have fallen victim to this countless times. I recently saw a girl crying alone in a somewhat public setting, and instead of simply asking if she was ok, I decided it wasn’t my problem and kept walking.
The issue with this is that it was my problem. Anyone that saw her that day was responsible for her well being. Everyone goes through life with countless euphoric experiences and even more depressing ones. We are responsible for helping each other with the extensive ups and downs this earth has to offer us because we all live in it.
This being said, I’ve created a quick and simple guide that has helped me become a little bit more of an empathetic person and might help you too.
1. Recognize that reaching a high EQ (emotional quotient) is just as significant as striving for a higher IQ (intelligence quotient).
EQ dictates one’s ability to empathize. There is such massive pressure when it comes to measuring and improving upon one’s IQ but rarely does the world at large focus on the EQ. Just as your IQ determines how good you are at using logic to answer questions, your EQ determines how in-tune you are with your emotions and how that manifests itself into relationships and sets an overall tone for your life.
2. Acknowledge the power you have to make an impact on someone else’s life.
Think about the last time someone gave you a compliment, reached out to you or listened to what you had to say. Did it make you feel good? If the answer is yes it’s most likely because you were being included and heard, which is all anybody really wants.
3. Switch eyeballs.
This is just a silly way of saying “picture yourself in someone else’s shoes.” When you take the time to imagine yourself in someone else’s situation, keeping emotions in mind, you can start to think about how you would want someone to respond to you in said situation. This, in turn, helps you formulate proper responses and reactions towards whoever you’re interacting with.
Building your capacity for empathy takes time. So, take your time :)
Here is an excellently short but effective video on this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
– Imaeyen Effiong