Being foreign in the US of A is one of the most exciting and refreshing things to be (when it isn’t quickly becoming the bane of your existence). With every statement you make closely being followed by a question of “where are you from, where do you live, why do you say it like that”, the charming accent you were so very proud of can become a nuisance. Here are 7 ways in which Americans simply cannot understand that there is a version of English that varies from their own.
1. People interrupt you every 5 words, in order to correct your pronunciation of words. Have you ever tried enunciating words with a British accent? I am still waiting for someone to explain to me how “LIRR-ER-ALY” is the correct way to pronounce “literally” whereas ““LITT-RALY” is an abomination of a word? Never attempt to order water with a British accent in America. I’m warning you, DO NOT. I usually have to repeat “WO-TER” three times before attempting to replace all T’s with R’s in the worst pronunciation of “WA-RER”. I promise I am not making fun of the server; I really am not.
2. People automatically assume you speak incorrect English when you substitute American words with the British equivalent. All I ever want is a trolley to push around my groceries at the supermarket. It is already hard enough having to remember that it’s Walmart instead of Tesco’s or Sainsbury’s. Requesting a shopping cart instead of trolley has me sweating at the thought of shopping.
3. Everybody loves to assume where you’re from, instead of asking you first. If I got a dollar for the amount of times people assumed I was from India before I opened my mouth, I would be able to afford a plane ticket to both England and India. For the record, I am a woman of Indian descent and grew up in both England and Kenya. My accent tends to fluctuate between British and American with every word. Confusing, am I right?
4. Creepy guys at clubs, or even in your classes love to tell you that your “foreign accent is hot.” Honestly dude, I’m just trying to have fun dancing with my girls and order waters in peace, please leave.
5. Even though English is your first language, people love to compliment you on the way you speak it. Um, excuse me. English is from “ENG-LAND” not “A-ME-RI-CA.”
6. People love to educate you on the happenings on American TV and sports. Yes, I do know that Kylie Jenner and all her sisters are pregnant. I am British, not extraterrestrial.
7. Every time you go home, everyone automatically considers you American. You have technically adopted a hybrid accent, one that isn’t entirely American, but it isn’t entirely British either. It doesn’t matter though; you know what it means? That you’re a perfectly blended princess that everyone else can only aspire to be.