Finals have everyone stressing. No one as much, though, as the Permanent Resident of Club Bird. To prevent an unfortunate incident involving a mental breakdown and someone throwing your venti mocha frap across the basement, we interviewed the Permanent Resident of Club Bird so you know who not to pester during finals week.
What is your favorite book? Soft covers. Typically, you can stack a few STEM books then toss an ETS read on top. Makes for a great nap sesh at 4:30 a.m.
How many coffees have you had today? Not enough, never enough. Haha. HAHahaha. HAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAH.
Do you feel prepared for this week? Um, still working on the puppy dog eyes for when I tell my dad, “I tried.”
Why is Club Bird your go-to spot? Basically, I’m a big believer in really getting in the center of it all. I figure I can absorb the knowledge through osmosis if I spend enough time in here. I think it’s working. But I also think I haven’t washed this sweater in four weeks. But I’m thinking, and that’s the power of osmosis.
What is your favorite memory of Club Bird? Can I phone a friend for this one? I’ve just been memorizing a lot for finals lately and don’t really have any long-term memories left in my brain. I’m actually kind of concerned. Would you mind calling Health Services? I’m sorry, who are you? …Who am I? What year is this!?