If you’re anything like me, then the last thing you want to deal with this week is trying to figure out what to do for a boy for the corniest holiday on earth that you know he could care less about, every time you’ve gone into a convenient store for the past three weeks you’ve literally wanted to vomit on all the plastic hearts, stuffed animals and anything else that has “I love you, baby” smacked across it, and as hot as Channing Tatum is, you’d rather choke yourself to death than go sit through, The Vow, while all your friends cry around you. Lets be honest, the only good thing about Valentine’s Day is the emphasis it places on chocolate. Thank god Cupid must have been a closet sugar addict because now I have an excuse for why I bought and ate four bags of Dove in one day.
Now, before you start thinking that I’m a miserable, lonely beotch that’s just dissing V-day because I don’t have anyone to share it with but my couch, let me explain that I do in fact have a boyfriend, who I never appreciate more than when this pointless holiday rolls around and he meets me at the door with the Season 4 DVD of Dexter saying were heading to Tulleys to get beers and buffalo chicken tenders than watching some classic, blood-filled episodes of my favorite Showtime series. I realize that although this is my dream scenario, not everyone would die for this type of Valentines Day, but whether you are or aren’t like me, why not spend this February 14th changing things up a bit? Everyone is telling you that you need to have a trail of rose petals awaiting you heading up to your bed where earrings are sitting next to flowers and candy and a huge stuffed teddy bear. Your friends want to know every detail about where your boyfriend’s taking you for dinner, expecting you to answer with somewhere expensive or chíc, but lets be real, were in Syracuse, there is no where chíc to go and the even more real truth is… we’re in college!
We’re all about having fun every other day of the semester, and literally making up holidays to get wasted for, why not do the same with Valentines Day? It is a holiday after all; who says it has to be cheesy and romantic? While everyone around you might be suggesting Pastabilities or chilled champagne and a room at Turning Stone, I am telling you to lower your expectations a little bit. Have a party with your friends and your man and spread some of that love to others; make red jungle juice and dress up as little Cupids if you really want to get after it. Go see a scary movie or an action movie instead of forcing your boyfriend to watch another Rom-Com he’s going to pretend not to hate. I really love the idea of the new Reese Witherspoon action packed, love-triangle, comedy starring Chelsea Handler and her cup of “mommy’s special milk” that’s coming out this Valentine’s Day. Finally, someone had the balls to make a love story for this holiday that’s anti corniness. Buy yourself some cute new underwear and that hot new bra at Vicki’s that your boyfriend will love on Tuesday night but you will have for the next three years; a good present for him and yourself. My final suggestion, take advantage of living in the frozen tundra, it just snowed about five inches, get some wine and a sled and go have fun rolling around on top of each other in the snow.
Really, all I’m trying to say is that, we are young, tell your boyfriend to save that diamond bracelet for marriage in six years when you have the money to do this holiday the right way. Let’s stop taking ourselves so seriously just because Valentines Day rolled around, because this is just about the only four years of the rest of our life we have to do so. Here’s to making Valentines Day, at least while your still in college, your newest excuse to party and have a good time and your last reason to stress.