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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Susqu chapter.

Everyone knows that some birthdays in a person’s life have different vibes. For example, at 10, you finally have double digits; at 16, you can drive. At 18, you can do cool legal adult things like go tens of thousands of dollars in debt to go to college for something that you might not even care about, and how would you know better, since you’re only 18 after all? Okay, that got kind of dark. I don’t like to think very much, so this reflection will be short, but I’m kind of wondering: what’s the vibe with turning 20?

Well, while we’re on the subject of going into a lot of debt over something that might not make the returns you want, let’s get some of my fears out of the way first. I’m going to graduate in two short years, and that’s scary because I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’ve recently realized that I’m not the type of person that has a dream job after all, even if I enjoy my studies. I’ve seen both inspiring stories about people who graduated and were able to find their place even if it’s not what they originally had in mind, and horror stories about people who experienced the worst sense of hopelessness and anxiety they ever had during their 20’s. With the state of the world, it certainly is hard to feel hopeful.

But also, I can’t help but look forward to potentially moving out of my parents’ house, having a cute apartment, seeing the world a little, and having all kinds of new experiences. I made the mistake of entering the last big milestone in my life— turning 18 and entering college— with way too many unrealistic expectations. I had spent my whole senior year of high school fantasizing about college life, and I was crushed when things didn’t work out as I’d hoped.

I’m going to enter this new decade of my life with a mindset somewhere in between— life after college will probably be great sometimes, and horrible other times. I have to trust that even when things aren’t great, they won’t stay that way forever, especially when I have so many great friends and loved ones to support me.

I'm a sophomore Publishing & Editing and Graphic Design double major as well as an editor at and the treasurer of Her Campus Susquehanna. I love to draw, read, and play video games in my free time.
Senior Publishing and Editing and Philosophy double major.