College is the place to explore new things to find out who you are. A lot of people just go crazy. They party a lot, try drugs, alcohol, and some have a lot of sex. Most of us have gone through the motions of sex during our college career. There have been plenty of good times and plenty of bad times. We’ve all talked about sex with friends at one point or another, but there are some questions that I never asked. I wanted to find out how some people would answer those questions, so I asked a variety of people to join in on the conversation. Here’s what they had to say.
What is sex to you?
“Personally, it’s something that happens in a relationship. You have to have some kind of connection with someone, something has to happen for it to be initiated.” -Anonymous, female, virgin.
“This is a really complex question. It’s a multitude of different kinds of things. The biology aspect of it is the insertion of the penis into the vaginal canal. The emotional aspect is the physical connection with another human being that you are supposed to have an attraction to. Sex doesn’t have to be ‘fucking.’ It’s a transfer of emotions.” -Simone, female, not a virgin.
“Nutrition. It’s a hobby, entertainment. Sex is like water, milk, calories, food, BBQ sauce– makes everything better. It’s oxygen, you really need it. It’s critical.” -Anonymous, male, not a virgin (but that goes without saying, doesn’t it?)
“Somebody’s most vulnerable state.” -Terrjae, female, not a virgin.
How did you find out about sex?
“Through telenovelas (spanish soap operas), haha. Ever since I was young I would watch them with my parents and sex was just on T.V. and they showed everything. My parents didn’t tell me to look away so I just saw.” -Anonymous, female, virgin.
“I was at home when I was about seven and I was messing with the cable box and all of a sudden there was this white couple in the bathtub and they were just having sex! I tried to change the channel but I accidentally put the lock on the cable box so the channel wouldn’t change. At the time I didn’t know I did that so I just sat there bawling in tears until my dad came home and turned it off for me. I didn’t have the actual conversation until I was like thirteen.” -Simone
“Kids at school. Commercials on TV. Our society is just naturally sexual.” -Terrjae
“Fifth grade on the playground.” -Anthony, male, not a virgin.
Do you think sex is vital in a relationship?
“In some relationships. Personally, I wouldn’t want to date someone if we weren’t going to have sex. I like it and to me I think it’s important.” -Anonymous, non-binary, not a virgin.
“Yes, because you’re getting to learn about the person physically.” -Anonymous, female, not a virgin
“In a long term relationship, yeah.” -Manny, male, not a virgin.
“Yes!!!!! It needs to be in there because like there’s always gonna be something missing in the relationship.” -McCoy, male, not a virgin.
How do you feel about slut-shaming? Have you ever slut-shamed?
“Nah I love ‘em (sluts). Nah I always say I don’t care what they do as long as I’m included, as long as I’m next.” -Anonymous, male, not a virgin
“I’m not comfortable with it. It’s inappropriate. We preach about self-care and bringing each other up but with slut-shaming, that’s keeping us back. No, not that I remember.” -Anonymous, female, not a virgin
“I mean as long as it goes both ways, it’s gonna happen. As long as they acknowledge both sides. Yeah I have, but to both men and women.” -McCoy
“That’s dumb as fuck. That’s dumb. I think people forget that women have sexual interest and like sex. I’m pro-sex work. If that’s how you’re making your money, do it. Hoe is a term of endearment for me! Yeah I have in the past, before I understood it but I never thought about it in such a horrible way like others have. I was just terrified of sex so I didn’t really know what I was saying.” -Simone
“It’s bad. People shouldn’t be shamed. If it’s your body, do what you want with it. Bodily autonomy! If a guy has sex with a bunch of girls, he’s seen as cool but if a girl has sex with a couple of guys she’s a slut? I probably did it in high school when I was internalizing things about myself but I was wrong.” – Anonymous, non-binary, not a virgin.
What do you think is more important, sex or intimacy?
“I mean casually, sex is more important but in a relationship, intimacy is more important.” -Anonymous, male, not a virgin
“Intimacy for me is important. Sex is not a strong basis for a relationship.” -Jahmir, male, not a virgin.
“Intimacy, there has to be a connection or vibe with someone. Sex is just sex. Intimacy means you go back to that person, you love spending time with that person.” -Anonymous, female, virgin.
“Both are pretty valued in a relationship. You need both. Can’t have one without the other. Sex without intimacy means nothing.” -McCoy
Thoughts on masturbation?
“It’s good. Healthy. It’s healthy as long as you’re not watching fucked up porn.” -Anonymous, non-binary, not a virgin.
“Nike. Just do it.” -Manny
“I’m all for it. Do you sis!” -Anonymous, female, not a virgin.
“Do it. Just like Nike, do it. No one knows you better than yourself. If they don’t finish it, you finish. It’s a lovely thing. Especially when you’re single.” -Simone
“Necessity. Everyday. I think I’m addicted though.” -Anonymous, male, not a virgin.
“Greatest thing in the world. You ever had nights without sex, you just gotta do it.” -McCoy
“You don’t have to agree, but it doesn’t work. Your mind knows what you’re doing so you don’t get anything out of it.” -Terrjae
These interviews were taken all together so we laughed a lot! I kind of figured what guys would say but I’m really happy that the girls were open and honest and not at all ashamed of their sexuality. Feel free to use these questions when talking with your friends next time sex comes up as one of your topics! Be safe and Happy Humping!!