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Susqu | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

The Woahs and Lows of Long Distance Relationships

Brittney Shaffer Student Contributor, Susquehanna University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Susqu chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

My boyfriend and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary. While it doesn’t seem like a major milestone for normal relationships, it was for us. Long distance is hard, especially for those who are dating active duty service members. I will say we’ve had our moments, but honestly our relationship made me realize a lot. So here are some of the things I’ve learned from our long distance relationship.

1. Communication and Comprehension

This is number one for a reason. Communication was a big thing for us, but one thing we didn’t get right away was the comprehension piece. I feel like these go hand and hand and you could talk to your significant other about the same topic again and again, but unless they’re willing to understand where you are coming from nothing will change. Although once your person can understand your POV and vice versa, communicating gets so much easier and you argue so much less.

2. Prioritize the Little Things

Maybe it’s just me, but I found that prioritizing the small wins in our relationship made our bond stronger. We don’t get to see each other often so being able to celebrate the small goals for the both of us was always fun, even if it meant celebrating a birthday with a virtual party and a cupcake or a muffin from the DFAC.

3. Set Time Aside for Date Nights 

Date nights for us weren’t your typical “Let’s go out to eat” or “Let’s have fun at an arcade!” Our date nights consisted of “What video game are we playing today for hours on end”? Find video games that you can play together! My boyfriend and I played various games together from Sea of Thieves, Helldivers, Raft, Minecraft, and even GTA. We just did things together differently than the norm. I’m currently in the process of getting him to agree to It Takes Two, but it’s not going so well. Haha.

4. Never Go to Bed Angry

TALK. IT. OUT. Whatever you do! Going to bed angry never makes situations easier and can build distrust and resentment in your relationship. That extra tension along with the distance just doesn’t and never ends well.

5. Build Trust

This was honestly one of the hardest pieces to accomplish for our relationship. People have their stigmas towards long-distance relationships but if you can communicate well and not be controlling and overly possessive trust comes easy.

Brittney Shaffer is a Junior at Susqu is Her Campus's current Social Media Director. Brittney majors in Criminal Justice and minors in Psychology at SU. Most days you can find her in the library or outside studying. When not in class you can also find Brittney at her job working with kiddos of various ages on mental health, and positive behaviors.
In her free time, you can catch Brittney playing video games live on Twitch (@frogwitharngpop) with her friends, hanging out with her pets Bree and Lucky, and watching Supernatural or Criminal Minds.