We’ve all heard the phrase, “Nobody’s perfect,” and for the most part I’d like to think that we all know that being perfect isn’t a worthy goal anyway. Sometimes, though, I start to think about the ways in which I’m not perfect, and it brings down my mood drastically. This is even worse when it’s something about myself that I can’t control.
However, I recently discovered a flaw in the way I act that is completely under my control, and it’s officially started bugging me that I haven’t changed anything to fix it. This article is my official declaration that I’m going to try to stop doing this action that I’m about to explain, and if nothing changes by the end of next semester, you’re all allowed to yell at me.
So, I don’t know when this habit started exactly, but it had to be sometime this year. I’ve known for a long time that I’m not a very patient person. I can’t stand waiting for someone to text me back on Snapchat if I’ve seen that they started typing (I’m staring down my friend Ryan when it comes to this one), and I can’t stand people who walk at a normal pace when they’re on their way to do something. I don’t know why, but very particular instances make me feel incredibly impatient. Now that I’ve written this out, it might be a side-effect of anxiety, but I digress.
Recently, I’ve noticed that when people are talking, and they’re thinking about a word or phrase that they’re about to say, and I think I know what they’re trying to think of, I’ll just blurt it out. I would like to say that this is because I want to help them out and don’t want to see them flounder, but it’s really because something in my brain needs the conversation to keep moving because any pause or silence wracks my nerves.
Sometimes this habit is actually helpful, like when someone is really searching for a word that they can’t remember, but sometimes I can see and feel how annoying it is. Especially when my guess is wrong, and they give me that look. You know the one; the ‘what are you talking about?’ one, but I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it again and again.
My goal is to take this flaw and fix it. I still want to be helpful, but in a way that is actually helpful. And I think that’s a good take-away from this. Some things you don’t like about yourself can be changed for the better, and even just taking note of a moment when you could change something can be a win.