Doing almost two semesters of college from your childhood bedroom isn’t easy. What makes it harder is knowing that the vast majority of your friends are at their campuses doing classes in person, and they get the chance to be with each other every day. More often than not, it feels really lonely as I’m going through the struggles of school all by myself. On top of this, I am also trying to gain independence from my family, but it is very hard to do so in an environment that is limiting my growth. Sometimes, I even feel like I am still in high school. While I don’t talk to a lot of people from there anymore, I still live in the same hometown I have been in since I was three, and old habits are starting to creep back. Everything appears the same, but it’s not.
When you’re presented with a difficult situation, you can either complain about it or you can do something to change it. While I think it’s okay to acknowledge that my circumstances aren’t ideal, I still want to figure out ways where I can start to become my own person while living at home as a college student. To start, I’ll go to different parks and do my homework there in order to get a change of scenery. It seems really small, but breaking the monotonous routine of getting out of bed and walking four feet to my desk is so refreshing. When I’m done with my schoolwork, I will sit on a bench and just try to focus on enjoying my own company. Learning how to like who I am when I’m alone has been hard, yet it’s also been incredibly transformative.
The biggest challenge in gaining independence for me was learning how to stop relying on my family so much. I’ll go out and shop for my own groceries, take my car to get maintenance work done without either of my parents, and generally do things that my parents would’ve done for me in high school. However, once I expressed I wanted them to take a step back, they’ve been respectful of it and let me manage my own time.
I am really looking forward to moving back on campus next fall, but I am not trying to rush through where I am now. I’ll get there eventually, and hopefully, I’ll continue to learn about myself until then.