Being a virgin in your 20’s can sometimes make you feel like an outsider, especially in college where it seems like all your friends–and everyone else for that matter–is having sex. The only thing more isolating than being a member of the virgin club is the way everyone reacts when they find out you are a virgin. The existence of my virginity has been met with some wild comments, and I’m here to share a few absolute no-no’s for the next time you encounter a maybe-too-old virgin.
1. “Well, are you sure you’re *insert your declared sexuality here*?”
Listen. Just because someone hasn’t gotten it yet, that doesn’t mean they don’t know what they want. And honestly, even if someone wasn’t sure what they like, that wouldn’t be a hindrance. A lot of people lose their virginity on their quest to sort out their sexuality.
2. “I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”
I mean, maybe I will, but what if I don’t? People have been telling me this since I was 16, so I’m not sure I’m convinced. If I was that worried about finding someone, I’d be trying a little harder, ya know?
3. “So you’re waiting for marriage? That’s so sweet.”
I’m not, but thanks for assuming, and even if I was, I probably wouldn’t be asking for your opinion.
4. “Don’t be embarrassed!”
I don’t know how anyone else views this comment, but to me, all it does is tell me that you think it’s embarrassing.
5. “Don’t worry. I didn’t lose my virginity until last year.”
Good for you. Everyone has their own timeline in life. Some people branch out and find success, or love, or whatever they’re looking for way before others. It’s important not to rush things, and no matter what the person’s reasons for being a virgin are, they’re on track for them, just like you’re on track for being you. Your timeline and theirs probably have zero correlation.
All in all, if someone tells you that they’re still a virgin, the best thing you can say is practically nothing at all. Some people might be embarrassed about it and others might be indifferent, but surely, no one’s asking your opinion. You don’t have to try to make them feel better.