College is a time for growth and exploration because you finally have a bit more freedom than you might have had in high school. Some students find their own style, others might pick up new hobbies and skills, but a lot of students like to “explore” (if you catch my drift). Having sex in college is normal, and it shouldn’t be a topic we shy away from. But depending on where you grew up, sex education can be extremely limited, or even nonexistent. While I might not be an expert, here are some tips and/or things you should just know before hitting the town.
1. Understanding ConsenT
Consent is one of those words you hear, but you might not understand how to implement it even though it’s necessary for sex. Sex is about communication, and if your partner isn’t into it, it’s not going to be fun. The best way to think of it is the FRIES model: consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. Consent is not a one-time thing that applies to every future sexual encounter, as it must be given every time you engage in a sexual activity. One big resource for understanding consent is the VIP Center on campus, which works to help students understand consent and what it looks like.Â
2. STI and STD Testing is Your Friend
No one likes to think about how your partner might have given you an STD, or that people are not forthcoming with their sexual history. In reality though, by the time you turn 25, one in two individuals will have contracted an STI, with the most common STI being herpes (60%). If you are engaging in a sexual relationship, I would go get tested every once in a while, just to make sure that you have not contracted any STIs and to make sure you are not spreading them. STIs are not a shameful thing, and if you contract one, it’s not the end of the world. You can treat them and get support for the more stigmatized ones. Many schools, including Susquehanna, will offer free STI testing, making it easy to access and offer care to those who can’t afford it.
3. Planned Parenthood is Not Just for Abortions
Now, if you see the header and know this already, I salute you. I didn’t know this until my junior year of college when I struggled to renew my birth control. Just looking at the Planned Parenthood website, I was amazed that it truly is a resource that every college student should be familiar with. If you need help with access to birth control, you can get it from your phone. You need mental health services, some centers offer care. Yes, they offer medical abortions, but what you won’t hear is their reproductive health services: postpartum care, prenatal help, pregnancy planning, etc. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Planned Parenthood is not the villain politics have taught us to believe, they are a relatively inexpensive resource that all college students can use at any time.
4. Two Forms of Protection
No, not two condoms! Please don’t wear two condoms! This simply means even if you are on the pill, wear a condom. There are also other options for birth control, not just by taking the pill. There are IUDs, patches, rings, injectables, and many more. But with all of these forms of birth control, none of them have a 100% effective rate in preventing unwanted pregnancy. It’s not just on you to prevent pregnancy, it’s also on your partner. Have them wear a condom, because it’s always better to be safer than sorry. Even if you are not at risk for pregnancy, wrap that baby up! Protection also helps prevent the transfer of STIs and STDs. Using a female condom or internal condom can help reduce fluid contact and help you and your partner stay safe.
5. Understanding the Protection You Use
Sorry to my parents and grandmother who may read this, but if I had a dollar for every time I have had to explain to a sexual partner that condoms expire, I’d have more money than you’d want to hear. While using protection is important, understanding how it works is equally as important. Do you use lube? Did you know that oil-based lubes can break down latex-based condoms? Did you know douching can increase your risk of infection? Did you know Plan B may be less effective if you are over 165 lbs? This is not to scare you, but it’s important to educate yourself on the protection you use so you aren’t using them wrong and causing them to be less effective. Again, use the Planned Parenthood website, as it can help you understand what you need to know about contraceptives so you can make smarter and more informed decisions when it comes to gettin’ jiggy with it (I had to say it once).