As autumn leaves start to fall, and crisp, cool winds cut through the heat of past summer days, something special emerges every September to carry us through the end of the year. This, of course, would be Dancing with the Stars.
As a seasoned watcher of this ballroom frenzy, I take it upon myself to not only watch as a fan, but as an Abby Lee Miller-possessed version of myself. Although I’m underqualified and know nothing of technique or sequence, my screen time is unfathomable, and I can recognize a heal lead from a mile away.
With that in mind, after watching the 34th season premiere, I have some lasting impressions and thoughts on the first dances of the season that I would be more than happy to share.
The night started with a cha-cha by Olympic gold medalist Jordan Chiles and partner Ezra Sosa. She stunned the dancefloor with flips and lifts, although it’s apparent she has rhythm, I would have liked to see more actual Latin style, rather than her just being in the air.
Following this Olympiad, a rather lackluster performance was given by Dylan Efron and Daniella Karagach. I liked the song and can appreciate the eye candy of a knock-off Troy Bolton. That said, I was left slightly embarrassed and very disappointed.
Miss Meredith Blake (Elaine Hendrix) was up next and truly made the stage her own. The hat-tilt entrance gave me chills and proved to everyone why she’s always been that girl. Alan Bernstein came through with the choreography, and I can’t wait to see more from them.
Mormon wife, Whitney Leavitt, made her debut on the dance floor and pulled Mark Ballas out of retirement for good reason. Although I don’t watch SLOMW, I was impressed with their tango. I just wish it showed more of Whitney’s personality.
Baron Davis and newlywed Brit Stewart came out with an upsetting cha-cha in my eyes. I can see him improving as the season continues, but let’s just say I hope he can play basketball better than he can follow an 8-count.
My queen, Topanga (Danielle Fishel), danced the tango with Pasha Pashkov and left no crumbs. Maybe Mr. Feeny was giving her lessons back in middle school? Answers are inconclusive, but I can’t wait to see more from her down the line.
Pentatonix star Scott Hoying and partner Rylee Arnold danced to Abracadabra, and it left me wishing that the dance would disappear. I was bored, and Scott’s dance moves looked a little pitchy.
Actor Andy Richter and partner Emma Slater just made me smile. He won’t win the competition, and his knees will likely give out before he even attempts the jive, but he’ll be securing a vote or two from me regardless.
Alix Earl and Val Chmerkovskiy had me re-watch the dance three times. The jawlines on the dancefloor were incomparable, but their cha-cha was also highly commendable. Although Alix is rather controversial, she really can bust a move. And with Val being my favorite pro, this coupling demands a vote or two in their direction.
Two contestants, Corey Feldman/Lauren Jauregui, were very much in the middle ground of this competition. They were good, but I just didn’t see any wow factor.
Mormon wife #2, Jen Affleck, came out with a new pro, Jan Ravnik, and if Jan’s stunning looks weren’t enough to win you over, the dancing was actually really good! I suspect this pair will be giving competitors a run for their money.
Second to last came (ex) ballroom dancer Hilaria Baldwin (Alec Baldwin’s wife) and partner Gleb Savchenko. Obviously, coming from a dance background, she was objectively a great dancer. That said, I think she has an unfair advantage, and after a messy season last year between Gleb and Brooks, I’m predicting that although judges’ scores may be high, fan votes will be low.
Closing out the night of the premiere came the most perfect, jaw-dropping, heart-pounding dance I’ve witnessed. Wildlife conservationist Robert Irwin danced a jive with Whitney Carson, and I never wished I were a snake so bad in my life. His facial expressions and personality on the floor, as well as his sharp movements and big energy, really brought this jive to life. Receiving one of the highest scores of the night, I’m securing Robert as one of the finalists of this season. Hopefully, following in his sister Bindi’s footsteps, I sense a Mirrorball trophy in his future.
After completing this first episode of DWTS, I’m left both impressed by many and disappointed by some. As I’m sure my thoughts and opinions will change as the season continues, I will be eagerly waiting next Tuesday with an open mind and notes app in hand.