Have you ever sat down with someone and wondered, “Is this person being secretive with what they are telling me or just a private person?” I have had that issue. There is a difference between the two. The main difference is how open the person is and what their intention is. You can be private without being secretive. In this article, I will explain the different ways a person can be secretive or just a private person.
First, let’s discuss how a person could be either. A private person chooses to not share specific information because of boundaries or if it is just too personal. It is not that they will not tell you at all, they are just not open to it now. For example, they can respond, “I would rather not talk about this right now,” or “Can we talk about this another time?” Lastly, they may share personal details only with a select few people instead of keeping to themselves. A secretive person intentionally hides information because of what their reaction could be, or they simply wouldn’t want anyone knowing about their life. They could respond, “I do not want this person to know this,” or hide things from someone.
When it comes to relationships, a secretive person may do one thing, but tell their partner that they are doing another. A private person may tell their partner what they are doing, but do not have to share every detail unless their partner asks. For plans made with friends, a secretive person may lie to their friends that they are too busy to hang out, while they may just want to stay home. A private person may be honest behind their reasoning because they have nothing to hide. Lastly, when it comes to conflict being handled, a secretive person may pretend that everything is okay with them and give the impression that nothing is wrong. While a private person may say “I just need time to process my feelings and figure out how I want to go about the situation.”
In conclusion, being private can be because of boundaries, while being secretive can involve being dishonest.