Beginning at a very young age, girls are taught to be feminine, nurturing, aspiring mothers. We are handed baby dolls to push around in miniature strollers, pretend to change the doll’s diapers, and feed the doll bottles. Our culture encourages little girls become mothers. There is no question asked, “do you want to become a mother?” Rather it is expected of all girls to naturally want to become mothers more than anything else in their lifetime. For some girls, that is true. However, for girls like myself, that is simply anything but the truth.
I have always wanted a career. A career that consumes me, actually. As an aspiring lawyer, children are not my top priority. Instead, becoming a respected and top-notch lawyer in a big New York City firm is my most important goal.
Yes, I have thought about one day having a family of my own but the thought of having children is not what fulfills me the most. When people ask me what I am planning to do after college, meaning after my Bachelor’s Degree, my answer of law school often invokes answers such as, that’s a lot of work, are you sure you want to spend all of your youthful years on more school? and then the most frustrating and sexist questions there is;
…But what about kids? My response is what about them? Why do kids need to be in my life then, or ever? Why is it that women are expected to put a halt on their careers, progression, and aspirations to have children but not men? Men are encouraged to follow their passions and develop a life-long career, but women are expected to not only have children but then push aside their careers even after having kids to stay at home and raise them. Why aren’t men held as equally responsible for these kids? The reason men and women have different expectations in regard to having kids, is because of how they are raised.
Girls are given baby dolls to play with, and boys are given trucks or legos. Girls are essentially taught to be recessive, and boys are taught to be creative risk takers. This translates over to aspects later in life. Women are less likely to ask for a raise than men, and there is an evident wage gap between the genders, putting men at the top.
If girls weren’t taught to play with baby dolls and expected to learn how to be a good mommy, maybe more women would have careers. Yes, some women want being a mom to be their career (which there is nothing wrong with that), but many other women want their work to be their baby. A woman’s choice should be what they actually want, rather than following what society is telling them they should or should not do. But here’s one last question I have: why can’t women have both? Why can’t women have both a family and a career? The answer is they can. Society tells women they can’t be fully invested in both the raising of their kids and their career, one has to give. I say bullsh*t.