This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Stony Brook chapter.
Photo by Rosea Lake
“But… what were you wearing?”
Ah. There it is. You almost fooled me with your whole, but I’m not a sexist act. I get it. We should have listened to our parents when they told us not to go out alone at night or that we can’t leave our drink unattended or that we shouldn’t dare wearing this or that.
Don’t dress like that. People will think you’re… untidy. You’re not saying the word, but don’t think I don’t know what you’re thinking.
A slut.
That’s what you say when you see a girl who’s wearing little more than a bathing suit. It’s almost like she’s –oh well I don’t want to say it but –you know, asking for it.
You’re right. Today she left the house thinking, oh golly I really wish that someone would objectify and assault me.
In fact, that’s what you think every time she decides to put on a dash of mascara or sport a tank top. After all, that’s what we are all conditioned to think when we’re younger. That mundane character trope of a mistress or popular queen bee being dressed scantily and smothered with drug store product –we hate her. We want to watch her, for lack of a better word, suffer. Those people are seen as loose in morals, narcissistic, pretentious even. And so we think that because we don’t wear any makeup or dress flashily, we are deemed as better than them. But doesn’t that make us the pretentious ones?
We don’t realize this, but when we tell ourselves “ugh, she’s only getting attention because she’s dressed like that or because she puts on so much makeup,” we are just as at fault as those who objectify her.
By judging others we find ourselves caught in a catch 22 –you’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t. Marilyn Frye, a feminist of the 80’s mentions in her piece”Oppression” that women find themselves being caged by society when it condemns us for either decision we make. When we dress down, we’re lazy. When we dress up, we’re trying too hard.
When we’re chaste, we’re uptight and lacking. When we’re sexually active, we’re sluts. We can’t win.
It wasn’t until the later years of my teen life that I realized the adverse effects of this negative outlook. I found myself constantly trying to tear others down in hopes of making myself look better. But like the great Agent Peggy Carter would say, “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.”
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