First thing I want to say is I miss you. I miss you every single day. I think about you often, at least 2 times a day. Although so much time has passed, there is still a heaviness in my heart that will never fade. You were truly one of the most genuine friends I ever had. Though we had gone our separate ways moving towards our senior year of high school, our friendship remained. I knew that at any moment, I could pick up the phone, call you and you would answer. However, more than 6 years have passed and I’m still waiting for you to return my phone call.
I don’t harbor resentment or anger towards you for what you did, but I am hurt. I’m hurt that you did not feel you could confide in me. I’m hurt that you felt we couldn’t work through this together, fight our battles together. I’m hurt that you didn’t keep your promise to me, a promise that still haunts me to this day.
Unlike most, I don’t ask why you did this. I know there is no direct reason why; I know you were suffering but it was stupid of you to think this was the only way out. You had your entire life ahead of you, family and friends who loved you and a bright future to look forward to. It was a selfish move; how could you not have thought you would be missed? God, I wish I could smack you right now. I shouldn’t be writing this right now. You shouldn’t be gone, but here we are. You should be here right now. So much has happened since you’ve been gone and I have so much to tell you. Good, bad and there’s also a list of people you need to knock some sense into for me.
Our friendship was eccentric and one of a kind to say the least. I cherish every carefree, adventurous, unpredictable, chaotic and happy memory we shared. These are things I will hold on to forever. Years later, we all still feel the pain from the day you chose to leave us. Family, friends, teachers and even strangers. Did you ever think to yourself what the aftermath of your decision would be?
Despite the choice you made, I had to accept the fact that you were gone. I had two choices. I could give up or I could keep going. I chose to keep going. You’re the reason I keep going and keep moving forward. You are my inspiration to make a difference in the world. I promise you I will. This is not goodbye, just see you later.
In Loving Memory of Alexis Skye Pilkington
June 17, 1992- March 21, 2010
“Give Everything But Up.”
Alexis Pilkington Memorial Foundation
September 2016 is also known as World Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.