So, let me tell you about a modern age boy meets girl story. Your average twenty-something old love story; we met, we kissed… you know what happens next. And then he gets bored or you get bored, either way you both move on before you even meet each other’s parents.
Our twenties seem to be filled with these countless should’ve, could’ve, would’ve almost scenarios. Every now and then we stumble upon someone that seems great, you know the one who finally checks off at least 80 percent of the boxes on your list, but once again the all too common plot twist comes into play. Timing. That bitch. She never seems to have our heart’s best interest in hers.
Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about the age-old cliché – “being at the right place at the right time” and what that even means when it comes to love.
I first met David* when I was in my awkward pre-teen phase, we were always cordial with each other but never close.
Fast forward to finding love in the digital era, we reconnected through social media and this time our chemistry was different. I had fully blossomed and so had he. The first time we hung out, we talked all night ‘til 3 am. It was like talking to a long-lost best friend, it was easy to share my secrets with him – it felt like kismet. And yes, he checked off every box on my list – tall, dark, and handsome.
But kismet didn’t last very long.
Have you ever been driving down the highway listening to your favorite song and before you know it, you’re speeding way too much and fly past your exit?
This is what meeting the so called “right person” at the wrong time feels like.
But maybe there was a specific reason for that; maybe it was a car accident you were never meant to be in or unexpected traffic you just dodged.
Maybe it was more than just a coincidence.
But in that moment, you’re too clouded by your own frustration to think about those possibilities. Instead you blame yourself for getting distracted.
I know it sounds like a stretch, but I’m a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason like the butterfly effect.
And so, at the time I blamed our fate on reasons I deemed as out of my control simply because it didn’t make sense. He was perfect on paper, the kind of man I’d so desperately been seeking for since I was 19—how could I not end up with him because of something as simple as timing?
I wondered if life was really that cruel.
But the hard truth is there is no such thing as the one who got away or meeting the right person at the wrong time.
That is the lie we want to believe.
That is the lie I didn’t realize I told him.
The truth is the perfect time does not exist when it comes to love, but the right person will make you feel like it does.
Subconsciously we know what we want and what we need but since we are not aware of it consciously, our actions don’t make sense to us in that moment – it is only later that we can look back and realize why certain things didn’t work out the way we thought they would.
I always think about David when I go down port, but I don’t regret my decision to leave. I know it was the right decision even though at the time, I felt guilty and selfish over it.
I may have missed my exit back there but that doesn’t mean the next exit won’t take me to the exact same place I was going to when I first met him. And if not the next one then maybe the one after that.
*Name changed for privacy reasons.