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The First Month in College by an Out-of-State Student

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Stony Brook chapter.

It’s officially been a month since I’ve moved into a college that I live twelve hours away from. It’s officially been a month since I’ve last petted my dog, since I’ve last hugged my little brother, since I had to say goodbye to my best friend. I knew my life was going to change immensely going to an out-of-state college, but some things stood out.

The first thing was that you are now in charge of taking care of yourself. That sounds pretty simple and self-explanatory, but there are so many little things that go into taking care of yourself every day that start to feel incredibly taxing. Especially when you go into college not knowing anybody else, you start out having to being there for yourself first. You’re in charge of keeping yourself fed, you’re in charge of making sure your clothes are washed, that you have time to relax, that everything you need is taken care of. Some days it’s harder to take care of yourself than other days, and you need to use that time to learn how to best take care of yourself. You’ll always have bad days, but it gets easier to identify what you need, whether that be eating popcorn and watching YouTube by yourself or having a girls night with your roommates. 

 

The second thing was that you will get homesick, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody at some point during college gets homesick. For me, I had assumed you wouldn’t quite feel homesick until a little later into the semester, but after a couple of weeks, I began to feel homesick. I found it hard to admit, especially to myself. When other students learn that you’re from out of state, they think it’s so cool and interesting, but it also felt like I almost wasn’t allowed to be homesick because I’m the one who decided to go so far away. I found that I tried to maintain how independent I was because I had no immediate family around me, but I’ve spent my entire life never solely independent, and it’s a lot larger of a burden than I realized. The most important thing though, when you do feel homesick, is to talk to someone. As I said, everyone at college at some point gets homesick, people are experiencing the same type of feelings you are, so try and open up to someone around you. Also, try to plan to talk to your friends and family at least once a week to keep up with how everything is back home, it can help a lot.

When you go to college, you often do things that you never really did yourself before, like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. so you’re already expected to experience a sense of adulthood, but being out of state forces you to grow up very quickly. You’re left alone to take care of literally everything yourself and you don’t have anyone to fall back onto. Nobody is there to help you step by step anymore. But I don’t think being forced to grow up quickly is by any means a bad thing. It may feel incredibly overwhelming at first, but by becoming more self-reliant, you recognize what you need in your life, and what could potentially be harmful or toxic. Maturity is an important attribute to have, especially when you’re by yourself at college and trying to figure out the first step to the next part of your life. 

My first month at college has been a really great experience so far. I’ve met people and experienced things that I never would have gotten to if I stayed in my state. There’s certainly been challenges, some that I didn’t see coming, but I’ve been able to learn and push myself to be the person I’ve always thrived to be. 

 

Brighton Ecoffey

Stony Brook '23

Originally from Ohio, Brighton is a freshman anthropology major at SUNY Stony Brook. She loves animals, unsolved mysteries, reading, art, and listening to music at all times. While she's a master at binging history shows on Netflix, she also loves to go on spontaneous adventures with friends.
Cece Cruz

Stony Brook '21

President/Editor-in-Chief here at the Her Campus Stony Brook Chapter! I joined Her Campus in Spring 2018 as a Junior Writer and I am currently majoring in Journalism with a minor in Political Science. My personality is somewhere between Rachel Green and Phoebe Buffay. I call that balance. In my free time you can find me doing... I'm a college student, if I appear to have any free time I'm probably procrastinating.