Losing you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so lost for so long until I was forced to be on my own. When I was with you, I felt as if my whole life revolved around you. We did almost everything together. We went to the same school, we went shopping together, and we even went to family parties and functions together. Little did I know that I didn’t need you to be there 24/7. I didn’t need you at all.
I’m not saying that you weren’t good to me. In the grand scheme of things, you were a great boyfriend. You always treated me with respect and honesty and I’m thankful for that. But you didn’t have the same goals and ambitions as I did. I planned on getting good grades, doing my best to become successful and traveling the world. You planned on going to parties and drinking with your friends. Now, I have absolutely nothing against having a good time, but we never really saw eye-to-eye on what a “good time” is.
When I was with you, sure, I was happy. But looking back now, I realized that I wasn’t quite myself either. I was always pushing you to be more mature and to grow up faster than you wanted, which I realize, wasn’t fair to you either. Yet, you were always pushing me to slow down, to stop thinking about my future and whom I wanted to be and you never realized that you were keeping me from being myself. And I don’t blame you, but I don’t blame myself either.
When you left me, it felt like my body was being torn in half while you just sat there and stared while I cried in your car. I hated you for a long time. I couldn’t believe you chose to leave when all I thought I had done was care for you and love you. But now that it’s been over a year, I know that you leaving me behind was the best thing to happen to us both. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and braver than I thought I could be. I’ve done more in the past year to achieve my career goals than I even knew I was capable of handling. And because you left me, I was able to stand on my own and not depend on anyone else for advice. I listened to my instincts and believed in the person I wanted to become. And without you, I am who I’ve always wanted to be.
So thank you for breaking my heart. You unknowingly have given me the opportunity to be myself, to be ambitious in becoming successful, and to work harder for the things I want to achieve. I didn’t need you in the way I thought I did. I didn’t need you to always hold my hand. I needed you to let go.