As a Westchester native, prior to enrolling here at Stony Brook my only exposure to the strange and foreign planet that is Long Island was the occasional day trip to Jones Beach. I figured the island was probably just a more suburbanized extension of Queens, but boy was I wrong. Here are the things I wish I had known before coming to Long Island
1. Everything other than the Island is considered “upstate.”
For me, when I think of upstate NY I think of Buffalo or Ithaca or Syracuse. People from Long Island usually classify upstate as anything further than valley stream. Although some people include NYC in their definition of “downstate” even that is up for debate here.
2. Penn station is hell on earth…
Having spent my whole life taking the metro-north line back and forth to the city, I was spoiled by the grandeur of Grand Central, with its beautiful ceilings and relatively clean dining concourse equipped with Shake Shack, Magnolia, and Junior’s. Little did I know that just 11 minutes downtown, Long Islanders and New Jersey-ites alike were suffering in the dank, rat infested basement of Madison Square Garden, otherwise known as Penn Station
3. …and the LIRR is Satan’s chariot.
Penn may be bad but getting there is even worse. Have fun spending two and half hours (that’s without the inevitable delays) on a double decker metal death trap surrounded by grumpy commuters. Oh by the way, did I mention it’ll cost you $13 OFF PEAK!?!?
4. People actually listen to country music (?!?)
I had always thought country music fans were confined to the south, prohibited from crossing the mason dixon line by some unspoken social contract. Let this serve as a warning to all my fellow New Yorkers still living in the dark: country music fans are living among us, and they won’t shut up about Zach Brown Band!
5. Diners are legitimately good.
I used to think that diners were only for people low on cash or hungry during outlandish times of the night who were willing to sacrifice quality. Long Island has showed me the error of my ways. Some of the best meals I’ve had here have come from the Lake Grove diner.
6. Political Correctness isn’t always a requirement.
I always saw New Yorkers as being pretty liberal or at least more culturally sensitive compared to other Americans, so I was shocked to find that this didn’t necessarily apply to Long Island. Since arriving here I’ve become accustomed to hearing the terms “faggot,” “retard” and “slut” used in casual conversation. Perhaps this could explain the surprisingly high volume of Trump supporters on Long Island.
7. People will risk life and limb to defend the Jets/Mets/Knicks/Islanders.
Long Islanders are fiercely loyal to their sports teams. On game day it’s nearly impossible to avoid seeing someone all decked out in their Jets/Mets/Islanders gear. I once met a woman who carried a scrapbook she made in her purse, commemorating all the greatest moments in Mets history.
8. Pretty much everyone here is a cop, a firefighter, or related to one.
This one really needs no further explanation. If you think I’m exaggerating just ask someone. Go ahead, I dare you.
9. Going “Down port” means going to Port Jefferson.
Its common knowledge here that if you want to go out for a night of barhopping, you’re going to have to go down port. This one just defies all the rules of logic considering that Port Jeff is actually north of Stony Brook.
10. People are proud to be from the island.
No matter what type of reputation they may have to outsiders, Long Islanders are never ashamed to tell you where they’re from. There’s a sort of camaraderie that exists between Long Island natives, they share a unique bond. No matter where you go you’re bound to meet a Long Islander eager to tell you which village they grew up in, and which high school they went to.