Texting a person you like is pretty much an Olympic sport. There is the training, the trials, the games, and the final medal ceremony. Although people don’t believe that you should get an award for showing up, I believe whether your conversation is successful or not, you deserve a medal for trying. The process is not an easy one and usually goes something like this…
1. The Build-Up
The warm-up of texting someone you like is similar to getting ready for the big game. First, you need to gather your support group to catch you if you end up taking a big ‘L’. Your support group is there to hype you up, tell you how great you are, and may even be there to press the blue arrow in case you have fear when it comes to pulling the trigger.
2. The Drafting
The drafting process is simply a game of wordsmithing. The goal is to appear busy, but not too busy to spend time with him. You want to appear interested, but not too interested (because why would you want someone that you like to know that you like them?). This stage in the process almost always leads to conflict among the support group because everyone tends to become a human thesaurus and differ in opinion of what will make the perfect message.
3. The Leap of Faith
Once the drafting process is complete and you have the perfect message ready to go, it is time to send her off. This is the most dramatic part of the process and usually includes the most screaming from your support group because they just want you to send the message, but you happen to be a *little* nervous. In some extreme cases, the support group may even have to step in and press the send button.
4. The Waiting
This part of the process involves a whole new level of patience. Whether he will respond or not is about as definite as a scratch ticket and it can lead to people doing some pretty wild things.
5. The Pain of the Wait
I can wait for a little bit, but once we cross into hour territory the panic sets in. Am I being ignored or is he actually being productive with his life and not checking his phone? This panic usually leads to an extreme action due to extensive worry. My personal go-to is lying on the floor in one of the members of my support group’s room.
6. The Moment You Have Been Waiting For
Suddenly at the moment when you least expect it, the gates of heaven open and a notification pops up on your phone. You begin to see the light (of your phone). Once you unlock your phone and you see the message, you are gleaming like Ari’s skin in 7 rings.
7. The Set-In of Reality
Once you have finished basking in the glory of receiving a text back, reality sets in. This terrifying reality is that you now have to respond back and keep this train on the tracks.
8. The Discovery of the Rhythm
After a couple exchanges of messages, the two of you begin to find the rhythm in your conversation. This is where the magic happens and this is when the panic gradually turns into comfort and perhaps even a smile.
9. The Deciding of the Plans
After a little small talk, it is time to set a meeting time. Just getting to this part of the process is an achievement in itself, so if you do, then you should be very proud of your work.
10. The After-Text High
Once the conversation is over and the plans are set, it is time to celebrate your achievements. The after-text high is real and if you have ever experienced it, you know what I am talking about. It usually involves an excessive amount of smiling and random people asking what has caused you to be so happy that you look like you could throw glitter and flower petals wherever you walk in a completely nonchalant way.