For my penultimate Her Campus article, I decided it would be entertaining to revisit my old articles and provide some updates on what has happened since I first wrote about certain misadventures! I would like to think of this as a “greatest hits” album, if you will. I hope this reunion between myself and my old adventures is just as rejuvenating, reflective, and replenishing for the souls of the readership as it was for me.
Live From O’Hare
If I were to give credit to the people who hyped me up and encouraged me to keep writing articles when I first started, I would have to give it to the girls in my hallway of the dirty O’Hare. I feel like most of my articles freshman year had to do with me snapchatting or texting men and trying to be cool and alluring. In fact, I distinctly remember laying on the floor of my room in the dirty O’Hare because I realized that I had started a conversation with a man and I had no idea what to say. I felt in despair since I did not think of the consequence of needing to carry on a conversation after saying “hey.”
Now, when I look back at little Erin in O’Hare, I just want to tell her to get up off the floor. Little did I know things would soon get more complicated with the men once I left that dirty building that I don’t even feel like referring to by its correct name.
The Big Picture
Not only has singing in choir provided some good stories, but it is one of the things I am going to miss the most about college. There are so many talented singers and musicians at Stonehill and it has been so much fun to sing alongside them for the past four years.
I am especially going to miss our director, Phil. Over the past few years of learning solos with Phil’s help, I’ve deduced that he finds me to be an entertaining character. I can’t read sheet music and sometimes I do not know what is going on, but I just admit it. Phil finds my honesty amusing.
Something Phil has taught me is that people are not paying to the little details as much as I think they are. For our Christmas performance this past December, I was nervous to sing one of the songs considered to be A BIG MOMENT! During our rehearsal before the show, I messed up a little part and I ran back into Campus Ministry and paced around the office while eating a piece of pizza. Once I saw Phil, he reminded me that everyone is looking at the big picture, so even if I mess up a note, no one will probably even know. Ironically, I had just told my students earlier in the day that they needed to look at the big picture while we were practicing writing thesis statements. I guess Phil reminded me to listen to my own advice.
My Ex-Fake Boyfriend
One of my most well-read articles was “The Best Dating Advice I’ve Ever Received.” It may have been one of my most well-read articles since it was published during the 10-day lockdown during the spring 2021 semester, so people simply had nothing else to do but sit at their sad little desks and read my writing.
If you missed the article, I had a guy best friend and the two of us acted like a couple, so people assumed we were a couple, and we weren’t, and then it turned into a heaping pile of crazy. My mom calls this character “Slick,” so that is how we will refer to him.
Although Slick and I had a sad ending to our friendship and we do not speak now, I still consider our friendship to be one of the most fun and genuine friendships I have ever had. I think we both knew that us acting like one another’s Polly Pockets simply could not continue and it led to things ending so poorly. If our friendship continued, we probably would have been good as dead to each other’s future significant others. I can’t say I would blame a girlfriend for wanting me to suddenly vanish in the woods one night. Emotionally, there probably would have been nothing special left for her.
When I see him around campus, it feels as though we had our falling out five years ago, rather than one. Sometimes I wonder if we are both very different people from the time we were friends.
The funny thing is, there will probably come a day when my students will be talking about something Slick does as our senator. I’d show them the picture of us in our fake couples’ costumes when we were a cowboy and cowgirl just for the shock value, but I don’t think that would be allowed. My costume was a bit risque – or at least my mom thought so.
English playwright, Oscar Wilde, once wrote, “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” Unfortunately, I think he is right.
My Most Loyal Reader and The Man Who Was Rarely Mentioned
Who is my most loyal reader, you may ask? This answer may surprise people, but it is my mother. She has read every single article I have written and she always sends her comments on the matters I write about via text.
Over my years of writing for Her Campus, people have told me they enjoy hearing what my mom has to say about my life. The readership particularly enjoys when she says all the men who wrong me are “losers.” I’ve told my mom how much readers enjoy hearing her call people losers, and I don’t quite know if she loves it. My analysis is that she doesn’t want people to think she considers everyone to be a loser, but I’ve told her the readership knows that!
Interestingly enough, I feel as though I never mention my dad’s thoughts on my misadventures. However, I think he already receives enough good press in the local papers for his financial responsibilities for the Town of Chelmsford. I must admit, I don’t always tell my dad all of the details regarding the matters I write about. If I did, there would probably be fewer men walking around this campus. I don’t think he really knows what I do for Her Campus. He thinks it’s just something for the girls!
However, I have a favorite memory of hearing my dad’s hot take on my business. One time on my way back home from Stonehill, I stopped by his office and told him about someone who had been caught in repeated rat offenses.
It was hearing the gentle giant say, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” while wearing a suit in the Chelmsford Treasury for me.
The Semester I Learned How to Teach and Use XL Post-Its
One night at my student teaching seminar, my supervisor saw my XL post-it notes and quickly asked me what the deal was with them. I told her I used them to write everything down that I needed to get done before 6 am the next morning. The list was always quite long, which was why it did not fit on a regular post-it.
I started teaching full-time or doing “full takeover” as they call it in practicum, about three weeks into student teaching. Typically, it is saved for the final few weeks of practicum. My two mentor teachers let me take the reins, which at the time was a little scary and overwhelming. Looking back, I am grateful that they had as much faith in me as they did to allow me to teach that quickly. On the final day of student teaching, I felt proud of myself because I knew despite how mentally, physically, and emotionally intense student teaching was, I had done a good job. My supervisor pointed out that not only did I do a great job at learning how to be a teacher, but my XL post-it notes traveled alongside me the entire way.
The Most Controversial Article of All Time
I continue to be shocked by the number of people who have read the article, “If You’re Not Going to Have Sex With Me, Then What Are You Good For?” When I wrote the article, I felt it was meaningful, but I never expected that many people would read it. Since then, people have asked how I feel about the situation now, as well as whatever happened with the man in question.
Despite the hurt that night caused me, it has led to some beautiful things. For one, it led me to discover the things I am good for. I’ve learned that my appearance is the least interesting thing about myself.
I have also learned the importance of owning my feelings. I wrote an essay about the experience as a part of a collection of essays for one of my writing classes. My professor suggested I submit the essay to a conference, so I decided to take the chance. It ended up being accepted, which led me to read the collection aloud in front of people. It was scary to read something so personal in front of others, but I am glad I did it.
While it has been painful, this situation has shown me who I can count on to be there for me when I fall, and who I cannot count on to be there. The friends who drove me to Chick-fil-a while I cried in the passenger seat of their car, the friends who brought me flowers, and the friends who have listened to me when I just needed someone to listen are the people who I can call my friends. During a situation that has left me feeling very isolated at times, they have stood by me, even when things were probably uncomfortable or inconvenient for them. I am lucky to have them.
As for what happened with the man in question, he sent me an apology months later. When I received it, it meant a lot to me. To be honest, I never expected to hear from him again. I decided to accept his apology.
However, since he apologized I’ve had interactions with him that have left me unsure whether anything he said in his apology is sincere. His words and actions are very inconsistent and have caused me a lot of hurt. I’ve had to learn if someone shows you their true colors and they’re not very kind, you should probably believe they are not very kind the first time.
Considering the things said to me that night, I think I have handled myself with grace. Some may say otherwise, but they were not the person who had to hear that they are not good for anything because they did not want to have sex with someone.
Ultimately, I’ve realized this whole thing did not occur due to some grand reason about who I am or how I live my life. I simply listened to my intuition, which told me something was not a good idea. Unfortunately, sticking to my intuition caused someone to have an extremely poor reaction. Although I did not fully understand at the time why my intuition told me what it did, I am glad I listened to myself. It helped me avoid doing something that did not feel right for the sake of a person who did not even respect me. At the end of the day, that is enough for me to keep my head up high.