How to Shovel Your Car Out

Last night accounted for the first snowfall that has stuck here at Stonehill College, so in awe of this wonderful, wet and cold day I decided to provide you with proper details on how to shovel your car out.

  1. Get dressed
  2. Put on some boots
  3. Maybe put on a winter jacket, scarf, hat and definitely some gloves or mittens
  4. Grab your keys
  5. Grab your tools
  • Tools can include, but are not limited to:
    • Red solo cup
    • Lunch tray
    • A stick
    • Your backpack
    • Your notebook
    • Your friend’s body
    • Your body – hand, face, feet, stomach
    • Cardboard
    • A shovel
  1. Walk outside
  2. Locate your car – wherever on this forsaken campus it might be
  3. Walk to your car
  4. Place your tools on the ground
  5. If you can, open your car door and turn on your car
  6. Blast the heat, this will help melt the snow off of your car
  7. Find where you just placed your tools and pick your weapon of choice (whatever you fancy really!)
  8. Start wiping the snow off your car
  9. Start to dig your car out
  10. Place the snow on your competitions car; you must assert your dominance in the snow
  11. Make sure to clear a path to your passenger door, cause that person will probably not enjoy having to do this for themselves
  12. Don’t forget about the driver’s door! You silly goose…
  13. Begin to shovel the snow out from behind your car
  14. This will form a pathway so you can leave your designated parking spot
  15. Once this is completed you now wasn’t to place your tools inside your car, along with yourself.
  16. Hopefully the car is warm by now
  17. I would now like to successfully congratulate you on shoveling your car out by whatever means necessary


You are welcome. 



*I have attached a video for your comedic standards:


*I have also attached a Certificate of Completeion awarded to you by me! So, CONGRATS!!