In my attempt to be more brave, I will share my latest experience with rejection, how I felt during the following days, and what I have learned. I’m honestly scared to have people read about my experience because this is the most personal and probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever shared in one of my articles. Typically, I just write about how to realize you may be dating a slime, the complications of being in a crowded dating field, and how the Bachelor, Ariana Grande song lyrics, or Sex and the City episodes connect to basically everything. While I’ve been told my articles are witty and humorous (not trying to flex), they usually do not dive very deep into my own experiences. My articles could almost be viewed as a PSA wrapped with a caution tape bow since they are based on my observations of other people’s lives. However, today I am sharing something that I am a little scared to share, so here I go.
I decided to take a leap of faith and tell someone that I had romantic interest in them and ask if they had the same interest in me. Spoiler alert: I got a no. Awkward. I will say it was probably the nicest way I have ever been rejected in my life. This made it less of an open gunshot wound and more like a bee sting. It was kind of painful at first, but with a few days, the sting healed. If every moment of rejection in my life could be as gentle and pleasant as this one, then my life would be probably less traumatic at times. All I have to say is that my plan of wearing a nice outfit worked out in my favor because at least I looked good when I left.
Whether you didn’t get the job, the person didn’t like you back, or anything just didn’t work out in your favor, rejection is not easy. The worst part of rejection is the sense of inadequacy we feel. It is so easy to fall into the trap of having the list of reasons why you may not have been enough on repeat in your mind. I would like to call big attention to the word “may” because at the end of the day, there is a good chance that we don’t know exactly why something didn’t go our way and there is an even better chance that we never will, which makes it pointless to fall into this trap. When we have faith that something will work out in our favor and it ends up not going quite as planned, it is confusing why we even believed it would work out in the first place. Even if you consider yourself to be a confident person, rejection can really bring about some serious self-doubts, which is the most frustrating part.
I found that spending time with my friends and family was a good distraction and they helped me work through the way that I felt. Luckily for me, I took my leap of faith on the day I went home for Easter break. During the ride home with my friend, we played “thank u, next” a couple of times which was remotely uplifting. When I arrived home, my mom felt bad for me which caused her to make me a really nice meal. While I do not condone using guilt as a tactic for getting what you want, this certainly didn’t hurt my situation. The next day I emotionally shopped due to my feeling of slight mediocrity. Some people drink, some do drugs, but I shop. We all have a vice. One cautionary warning I have to share is that one should not enter any stores until he or she has achieved firm emotional stability to avoid excessive spending. My dad took Friday off from work and we moved a mattress into our Maine cottage. It was clearly not my dream because I just moved into lifting the ten-pound dumbells at the gym, so I do not think that God intends for me to lift large and heavy objects. However, it was definitely a good distraction and we stopped at Dairy Queen after, so that was a bonus. Some ice cream and words of wisdom from your dad are much needed.
Although my risk did not lead to reward, I have realized that this is my time to stunt in all areas of my life. If I have enough bravery to do what I did, then I am certainly brave enough to do anything that gives me minor stomach flips. I have already taken it upon myself to take two other leaps of faith. I have decided to take a chance and audition for something that I was too nervous to audition for before. I also decided to apply for a position that I probably would have been too afraid to apply for before.
This season of stunting has also eased my mind about the possibility of running into him post-the nicest no I have ever received. It certainly was good that I didn’t have to worry about bumping into him for at least 5 days because of Easter break. With my leap of faith being the boiling point, those five days being the simmering point, I am hoping by the next time I run into him the water will be room temperature. While it may be awkward, I am hopeful that I will be able to avoid fainting out of fear or just sprinting in the other direction in my heels if I do so happen to see him again. I never even liked running anyways.
The overall takeaway that I want anyone who has made it to the end of this article to know is that we have the power to decide how we will bounce back from rejection. After my experience, I realized that the best way to handle it is to channel my energy into more fulfilling things. I put too much of my time and energy into picking the right outfit, wordsmithing my texts, and just worrying in general. Even though excessive worrying is basically my brand, it was still too much. Instead, I have decided to channel this energy into things that will not only benefit my happiness but other people’s happiness as well. I kicked up my gym routine a couple of notches and I am testing out journaling. Someone suggested that I should try meditation, but I just don’t think I am enough of an essential oil hippie-cool person for that, so I will stick to exercise and writing for now. I have placed more of a priority into doing things (even if they are small) to show my friends and family some extra love, particularly out of my appreciation for how much they have been there to be my professional hype women during this time. Never forget to thank your hype women. Our hype women not only encourage us to take these leaps of faith, but they also catch us if we fall too.