Feeling stuck in different ways

If you know me, you know how much of a busy body I am; always working, little to no free time, and scheduling myself probably thinner than most people do. But I love it. I love being busy and always having a plan for everything. I thrive on my schedule, and lately I have been finding that the weeks have been flying by so fast because I am always busy doing something. 

 

It’s funny because I just wrote an opinions piece for my school newspaper, which I am very proud to say that I will be the Editor in Chief of next year, about feeling stuck in my weekly routine. Well low and behold, I am still stuck, just in a very different way. On Wednesday April 7 I was finishing up my upper body workout after coming home from nannying, and rolled my ankle doing some cardio to finish the workout. I heard a pop and a crack, and fell onto the stairs in my basement and screamed. My mom came rushing down and after I chucked my air pods across my basement, she looked at my ankle and panicked. 

 

She looked up at me and noticed that I was as white as a ghost, and with my history of fainting, she ran into the bathroom, got me a cold cloth and a pillow for behind my neck in case I passed out. She took my sneaker off and my ankle looked like there was a golf ball inside my skin. It was so painful, but to take my mind off the fear of passing out, I called my boyfriend on FaceTime and talked to him while my mom called rescue. 

 

After a long two hours at the Emergency Room and a Chipotle bowl later, I went home with a small brace and was told it was sprained. I kept it elevated and iced like the doctor said, and followed up with my primary care the next day. Luckily, with some Cape Cod connections, my mom was able to get me in to see an orthopedic because the receptionist remembered her from high school. So we hobbled to the orthopedic where we took more X-rays to conclude that nothing was broken, (thank god). The PA told me I tore two ligaments in my ankle, one that is on the outside and one on the inside. He put me in a big boot that goes almost up to my knee, and instructed me to wear it for four weeks, 24/7 so that the ligaments could heal. If I failed to wear it all the time, it would push back the healing process even more, which we don’t want. Physical therapy to follow of course, where I will get the strength back in my right leg after being off of it for a month.

 

I was really bummed, because that meant I can’t drive, can’t work, can’t really workout, and do simple things by myself like shower, make food or get into bed. By “feeling stuck in my routine” I had no idea what was about to happen, but maybe this is a sign telling me that I have to slow down and give myself some time without pleasing other people. I feel horrible about not being able to work because I know I’m letting people down, but at the same time, I can’t do anything about my situation besides let my ankle heal the right way so that I can get back to work as soon as possible. Maybe this break will be good for me, and as much as I thrive on being independent and doing things myself, I think learning how to allow others to help me will be good for me. 

 

As much as this experience has impacted me in a negative way, I have to learn to see it in a positive way as well. Instead of hobbling around my house on crutches crying and getting frustrated over everything, I need to take deep breaths, think about the positives (this did not happen during the summer) and take it easy on myself. There’s no way this will heal the way it’s supposed to with me being negative and feeling bad for myself. This will be a time for me to get my work done, catch up on TV (not that I really watch a lot) and do more writing. All in all, I guess feeling “stuck” in my busy weekly routine was not the right choice of words, but I’m just taking things one day at a time and doing what I can to make my ankle heal as quickly as possible.