Netflix is a problem. It’s entertaining, time consuming, but more importantly, it’s addictive. Some days are worse than others, but trying to get through the day without my daily 30 Rock fix is at times painful. I’ve had Netflix for about a year now but I’ve never had to pay for it. As most of us do, I live that “I’m a broke college kid so I’m going to mooch off of everyone I can” lifestyle. Netflix being no exception. Although I find no shame in taking the extra toothpaste in my parent’s cabinet or helping myself to some extra snacks from their pantry, I do feel guilty for not paying for the monthly membership.
Here are the 5 stages I’ve felt while using someone else’s Netflix account that I’m sure you can relate to:
1. Denial
This is when you’re in absolute bliss. Rebellious instincts kick in and you feel like you’re cheating the system. “I can watch Making a Murderer for 10 hours straight and Netflix will get NOTHING from me!”
2. Anger
This is the stage that comes shortly after you remember that someone is paying every month so that you can spend your entire Saturday in your pajamas binge watching Orange Is the New Black. You come to the realization that while you enjoy being an utterly disgusting couch potato, you’re being a terrible friend.
3. Bargaining
“Alright, I’m totally going to give my friend at least $5 a month to pay for my share of the membership.”
(You’re totally not going to.)
4. Depression
This stage is often associated with self-hatred and overwhelming guilt. If you’re anything like me, you start to watch Netflix less in attempt to not feel like such a freeloader. But, to your dismay, you feel even worse. With all of your free time you start doing your assignments and studying- It’s a tragedy. Sure, you could just give your friend the $5 every month but you just don’t see them often and you don’t have stamps to mail it to them. Oh! And you heard that people can look through the mail and steal your money so you better not risk it.
(Insert other excuses as to why you can’t pay your part and why you’re going to continue being a rotten friend.)
5. Acceptance
You’ve finally made it. Your friend loves you, they’re the greatest human alive, and you get to reap the benefits of their generosity. You tell yourself that you’ll make it up to them one day, but for now you’re going to continue living your predisposed college-mooch life, guilt-free.
Happy streaming!