The question of if you truly know yourself is one that some never really find the answer to. For some, the question haunts them, and for others it’s motivation to find the answer. Sometimes what you think you know for your entire life, can change in an instant.
I was fortunate enough to know what I was passionate about pursuing since middle school, and I held onto that tightly. Many of my peers had trouble with something that seemed to come natural to me. I held my goals close to me and used them as motivation to give me something to constantly reach for. My dreams of pursuing a career in engineering solidified and stayed like that, even when everything else was uncertain.
When I got to college, it became very clear to me that knowing what I wanted to do was not the same as knowing who I wanted to be. Everything I thought I was sure of was questioned in ways I never even considered. College is different for everyone, what you experience, who you meet and what you learn. The one thing that pretty much everyone shares is that the foundation that was built up your entire life is now being shaken. It’s an unexplainable feeling that you can’t really describe. The routines you once relied on are completely changed and the people you surrounded yourself with are suddenly gone. It’s exciting to meet new people, try new things and explore different places, but it’s also scary and unpredictable.
It’s normal to question pretty much everything. I definitely did, and still do, being in my second semester of my freshman year. I reconsidered so much, if I really wanted to go to the school I choose, was this the right major for me and if this is actually what I wanted to do. As much as I wanted an answer for myself, I realized that I might never find one. It’s weird to admit that, because everything I was once so confident and sure of was challenged so quickly.
Growth isn’t pretty, but it’s necessary. I had to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s the things that people don’t warn you about that teach you the most. Sometimes you’re going to fail a test, even if you studied for hours on end, or sometimes you’ll struggle with finding a group of people to fit in with. Sometimes you need these moments to lead you to the person you’re meant to become.
No college syllabus includes having to rebuild yourself and everything you once knew. Not rebuilding from scratch, but rebuilding with honesty and truthfulness. Take everything you’ve always known and combine that with the new exciting, and sometimes scary experiences of this new chapter. It’s okay to question things, even if they’re things you were sure about your entire life. It’s okay to start over and take a different path, opposed to your original one.