I can check winning “The Ugliest Girl at Stanford” award off my bucket list. Granted, it was from one of my close high school friends who had pledged a frat at Berkeley and come to Stanford to wreak havoc. He and his brothers were required to be mean to a Stanford student but didn’t want to traumatize a total stranger so I volunteered. Maybe that doesn’t really count.
I’ve also hoarded a trove of stories involving my angry Asian mother barging in on my secret late night Cheeto binges (a.k.a. Cheetos interruptus). By all accounts, I’m pretty sure I qualify for some kind of DUFF merit badge.
I remember hearing the term float around in middle school but for the most part, I’d always thought of “DUFF” as Homer Simpson’s beer of choice. It’s thanks to my little sister’s sudden interest in trashy teen romances that the term popped back on my radar. I came across one such book – a little gem entitled “The Duff” by Kody Keplinger which read like a high school senior’s creative writing project (and apparently might be one – it’s 18 year-old Keplinger’s debut novel). As you can imagine, [SPOILER ALERT] the titular DUFF managed to overcome her life’s struggles to find love with the most popular, insanely attractive boy at the school.
So maybe it’s the Cheetos talking, but as someone who’s undoubtedly filled the role of the DUFF in many a past (and probably future) social situation, I’m totally fine with it. And I’ll use the powers of pop culture to explain why…
REASON 1: You’re probably funnier than the rest of your friends
Pop culture has proven this irrefutable fact. Folks like Zach Galifianakis and Jonah Hill pretty much founded their careers on this idea. For a more recent example, check out scene-stealer Megan (Melissa McCarthy) in new comedy “Bridesmaids.”
REASON 2: You don’t ever have to break a sweat getting all gross at the gym (unless it’s walking up a long flight of stairs)
The only feeling I hate more than sweatiness is nausea, and thinking about getting sweaty is making me nauseous.
REASON 3: No one judges you if you go out in sweats all the time
I don’t know about you, but this is a pretty sweet deal. Society has sadly indoctrinated girls to starve themselves to fit that anorexic, mini-skirted ideal but if you’re not even close then it’s like you get a free pass to a blissful life of cotton comfort and elastic waistbands.
REASON 4: You literally have the best shoulder to cry on
It’s probably the most comfortable.
REASON 5: Most importantly, you can eat whatever you want
I heard Whitney Port (yes I know who that is) is on a strict 1000 calorie-a-day diet. Margaret Cho claims she once ate persimmons for 6 months straight until she literally pooped herself. I strictly adhere to my life philosophy: what happens if you walk out of that restaurant door and get hit by a car? I don’t know about you but my last regret would probably be turning down that slice of chocolate cake.
REASON 6: If you’re REALLY that bummed out, you can always do something about it
Again, Her Campus isn’t condoning some sort of “Grease” transformation, but if you’re really getting down about it, remember that you’re entirely in control of your body image. Look at Tina Fey: she was once a hopelessly dorky Greek girl from the ‘burbs, maybe even a little chubs, but just look at her now. And I mean, I guess you could also always make uglier friends.