How to Lose a Guy in 10 Weeks: The Kardashian Edition
Ten weeks. That’s your typical quarter here at Stanford. Just enough time for a 15-20 units worth of classes and a short-lived romance! With relationships few and far between on the Farm, if you’re anything like me, between the problem sets and papers, you can’t help but be fascinated by the media frenzy that is the Kim and Kris split. So here’s how NOT to make the most out of your 10-week romance:
- Let your blog readers and Twitter followers know more about you than your significant other does. Enough said.
- Find a guy. Now marry him in 6 months. While I’m not renouncing love at first sight, I AM saying that the weird stuff about you two only starts coming out of the woodwork around the 6-month mark. He snores and leaves lights on when he leaves? Better yet, he wants you to live with his family in Minnesota, and you’re LA-famous? All that stuff takes time to come out.
- You blow up at him the night he is about to propose, belittling him and making fun of his “college dorm apartment”. Hey, no shame in having an IKEA’d-out bachelor pad, IMO. Classy AND wallet-friendly.
- Broadcast your wedding for $17.9 million, sell your photos for $1.5 million and exploit your marriage ceremony by taking on lots of sponsors and brokered deals for everything from the cake to the $2.5 million headpiece.
- Have your lawyers enter the boxing ring for several hours in order to negotiate the prenuptial agreement. Pre-nups are a good thing, ladies, especially when you’re a successful businesswoman—but when your lawyer has to settle how much of the wedding-generated revenue you each get, there’s trouble brewing in paradise.
- Fall victim to the made-for-TV wedding curse. We’re looking at you, Heidi Montag and Jessica Simpson. And every other MTV wedding show. If someone approaches you with a TV show deal, offering to document you and your sweetie’s love life, just say “no!”
- Let the tabloids speculate that your families hate each other. While there is only and inkling of truth to the weekly tabloids, negatively publicity describing how much animosity surrounds you two only puts a damper on things. Ignore gossip!
While we all don’t necessary have the looks or fame of the E! Channel beauty, there’s a lot to be said about her finesse when it comes to controversy. Say what you will about Kim being fame-hungry, but she IS human just like us, collegiettes™. Before you offer your criticism of your bestie’s fling, be happy for their happiness in the interim. All in all, be genuine, not just in your relationships, but also in life!