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8 Things You May Feel When Dating Your Best Friend

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Stanford chapter.

1. Scary

Dating people is scary in general. However, dating your best friend introduces even more fear into the mix. What if we break up? Will we still be friends? What will my life look like if we aren’t friends anymore? Would it be even worse if we did remain friends after we break up?


2. Exciting

Well this is amazing! All of that sexual tension is finally all cleared up. You’re walking on cloud nine, because you’ve got yourself a true one-stop shop. When you date your best friend, that person becomes the only person you need. Why would you talk to other people when you could always be around your best friend? He gets you. He’s funny. You wouldn’t rather talk to anyone else — and honestly, you don’t have to. It’s amazing that one person is truly all you need. You’ve hit the jackpot.


3. You Lack Meaningful Connections with Other People

So, maybe that wasn’t quite as great as it seemed. After enough time together you run out of things to say, and little things start to get on your nerves. However, the real issues begin when you don’t really want to be around that person anymore, but you can’t be without them. You are so intertwined with them that it hurts to be away from them. So you keep on indulging the part of you even though you know it’s self-destructive. 


4. You, Somehow, Grow Apart

When you spend so much time with someone, you inevitably end up standing up way too close to see the full picture. Small things that they say get on your nerves. Your senses of humor aren’t matching up. You can’t even tell when they’re making a joke anymore because it simply doesn’t seem funny. But they used to be so funny.



5. The Fallout

It just isn’t working. Things just aren’t the same. You used to have the perfect relationship, but you are watching your romantic life crumble around you now.  You wonder if it’s possible to for things to go back to the way they were. And your hopes are buoyed by the fact that guys still do have some good times — for some shining moments you guys are yourselves again. Simply enjoying each other’s company. But, most of the time, you are just boyfriend and girlfriend. Not really even friends anymore, let alone best friends. 


6. The Breakup

It’s scary to go through with because being together is so familiar. And when it finally happens it’s hard. It’s physically uncomfortable.  Maybe you can’t eat. Maybe you switch to a pure ice-cream diet. Either way you tell yourself that this will not be how you feel forever. Because you’re in love with a memory. Things aren’t the way they were. He’s not the way he was. You miss someone who doesn’t exist anymore, and there is no reconciling that. You simply have to move on. 


7. Moving on

You try to be friends, so you hang out. Maybe you have sex one more time. Or a few more times. But it’s definitely awkward. And you’re both a little bit reserved. Friendship doesn’t seem like it will work out, especially if you’re really trying to get over this relationship. 

So here you are. Relishing in the excitement of making new friends and meeting new people while also longing for the familiarity and comfort of him. 

But, as you very well know it does, time heals all wounds. You think about him less and less. He shows up in fewer and fewer of your dreams. You can think about your time together fondly, without (or with minimal) pangs. And now seeing him on campus is as simple as a smile and a wave. 


8. Or, It’s the Best Decision You’ve Ever Made

All relationships end. They either end in break-up or when death do you part. And, honestly, you and your best friend/boyfriend could totally make it. And what could be better than spending the rest of your life with your best friend? 

It may seem like a high stakes game, but, sometimes, with great risk comes great reward. 

Emily is a junior at Stanford University where she is majoring in Symbolic Systems. In addition to being her school's campus correspondent she enjoys going on adventures and calling fairly mundane activities adventures. In the future she hopes to pursue a career.