Did you ever read a tweet that begins with, “I wish that I could meet a guy that holds the door open for me and buys me things…” and then you throw up in your mouth a little bit and thank Twitter for giving them a 140 character limit? I feel you. You read it and you think to yourself, “is that all you want?” What happened to ambition? What happen to doing what is best for you instead of wishing on a star that the perfect man is going to fall from the sky? You will be waiting forever because chances are; he is not just going to appear out of thin air and cater to your every need.
I do not hate love. I love the thought of having someone there for me, care about me, and want the best for me. But when it comes down to it, you have to be your biggest fan before you can be someone else’s. Before you met your “McDreamy” you had goals and a future without them by your side (hopefully). And if you are still in search of your “McDreamy,” then you should have goals and future plans that are dedicated for you and only you. You have this one life and while love is great and all, loving your self is oh so very cliché and important. Because “he is very dreamy, but he is not the sun, you are.”
1. Putting all your eggs in one basket is a bad idea.
If you put all your eggs in one basket and then the basket breaks, you are left with a bunch of broken eggs. Making someone your main priority at this point in life is scary because sometimes you may be prioritizing him or her but they are not prioritizing you. You need multiple baskets. Your significant other can certainly be a basket but find a sport, pick up a hobby, kill it in school, just have some things that you can call your own and be proud of yourself for your accomplishment as your own person.
2. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means?
I want my own success. I work for my own success. The people I love motivate me to accomplish my goals and there is a part of me that works hard every day to make them proud. However, you cannot accomplish anything unless you are at least slightly self-motivated. I am independent; however, I am not cold hearted. Success is lonely at the top if you push everyone away to get there.
3. Balance in any aspect of life is very important.
I have recently realized just how important balance is in every aspect of one’s life. You balance your social and school life, your food and gym life, and just about everything else in life becomes a choice of balance. This all goes back to priorities. If there is something that is important to you, you will find time and prioritize the most important things first. If you let someone eclipse what you want, you are never going to be truly happy. Balance in a relationship is important because each person has certain wants and needs that may not always match up with the other person’s wants and needs. This is okay as long as long as there is a balance.
4. Take advantage of being selfish.
This one is simple. Let’s just say not everyone deserves your efforts and sometimes it is okay to do a thing or two for yourself and only for yourself. Make yourself the sun.
5. The right man will appreciate it.
The right guy is going to notice. The right guy is going to understand that you are busy being you first, independent, and value more than just having him around. You do not need him, but you can love having him. He does not need to open every door for you or buy you nice things because you can do that yourself. But if he does, good, and you will return the favor keeping the relationship flowing both ways and maintaining balance. The right guy will never undermine you and will value your hard work and support your success along with his own. Together, you two can both be the sun and eclipse the world.
So thank you, Christina Yang, and thanks again Grey’s Anatomy for giving us another life lesson. Just remember, “He is not the sun, you are.”