When I was young, I was so carefree and lived every day of my life to the fullest. I always wanted to grow up but never realized how hard being an adult would actually be. Now, all I wish to do is turn back.
I remember being in high school and learning about drunk driving and suicide. Our teachers all told us “don’t become a number” or “don’t be a part of the statistics.” But every day in our life we live as a number. We work hard to have the highest GPA. We work hours and hours at a job that we probably don’t like to have money. The worst of it all? We work hard to stay in shape and lose weight. We are defined by so many numbers in this day and age. Our GPA, how much money we have, how much we weigh. I thought we were human beings?
Growing up I struggled with my weight, but as a little kid I didn’t care. Once I started to hit middle school is when the pressure of being skinny kicked in. My freshman year of high school I wanted to look like all the popular girls and took a turn for the worst. I developed an eating disorder that was extremely hard to break. I was losing weight and still wasn’t happy with my look. I let my health fall dramatically. I battled through high school to be super skinny. I’d lose a bunch of weight and then gain it back later and it took forever to lose it again. I worked so hard but nothing helped. I used diet apps to track my food intake, I worked out at the gym like crazy, I started taking naps when I was hungry so that I wouldn’t eat but I still didn’t feel perfect. I gave up and let myself go and now I’m trying my hardest to get back and become better than before.
People don’t realize how hard women work to stay skinny and how much the media and other’s opinions affect them. I am tired of being known as a number. Sick of being called fat and laughed at because I’m not skinny like other girls. Girls need to work together to raise awareness for body positivity so maybe in the future, our daughters won’t be defined by a number.