Alright, I have to admit something. Until this morning, I did not know what sodomy was. I know, I know, you are probably thinking, “But she is a sex blogger! How can she NOT know these things?” I mean, I had the general idea of what I thought it was based on context and such, but somewhere along the line I missed the vocabulary lesson in which sodomy was a key word.
So, mostly because of the political climate and the desire of some anti-gay politicians to recriminalize sodomy, I decided to look it up. Here is the Wikipedia (totally a classy source of information) definition of sodomy:
Sodomy is any non-penile/vaginal copulation-like act, such as oral or anal sex
Whoa, whoa, WHOA. So sodomy isn’t just something that gay people engage in! I found it mildly shocking that nowhere on Wikipedia, nor in any other definition I read, was sodomy equated exclusively with homosexuality. Basically every instance in which I had ever heard sodomy discussed was regarding the limitation of LGBT rights, so I just assumed that homosexuality was intrinsically tied to the definition. Quite the contrary! I myself am a sodomist, as are most people I know, straight or gay.
The reason that the idea of sodomy is so closely tied to homosexuality is simply because, due to the nature of lesbian and gay relationships, oral and anal sex are often the main methods of pleasure. But straight people likely engage in these actions just as often!
Now, knowing this definition, I would like to call bullshit on all of the politicians and average people who want to criminalize sodomy. I’m going to make a rather sweeping generalization and say that I’m pretty sure most politicians enjoy being on the receiving end of a blowjob (yes, I’m looking at you, Bill Clinton and Larry Craig). They also probably enjoy pleasuring their partners orally, at least on occasion.
Oral sex is really an acceptable and expected form of sex in most normal, healthy relationships, both straight and gay. I don’t think I have ever been in an intimate situation where oral sex wasn’t used as a method of foreplay or for mutual pleasure and satisfaction in lieu of sex.
And as for the “back door” – most guys I know are interested in anal. They at least want to try it. Maybe it is a result of the porn industry, but it seems to me that anal sex is becoming a lot more mainstream; it isn’t so much seen as a weird kink as it has in the past. Anal sex has become normalized. Go to any male-dominated online forum, such as “Bro Bible” or 4chan, and you will notice countless comments about anal sex and the desire of most men on these forums to engage in anal sex with their partners.
I guess my main point with this post is trying to figure out what’s the big deal with sodomy. These behaviors are normal and healthy and can provide a level of intimacy to a relationship that may not be accessed otherwise. Why should anyone look at these behaviors as unacceptable in the gay community when the vast majority of straight relationships are engaging in the same behaviors? It is wildly hypocritical to make any judgment on the intimate lives of others. So anyway, the next time you are going down on a guy or he is on you, think about whether you think that everyone, EVERYONE, should have the opportunity to legally do the same thing.
Stay sexy St. Olaf, H.