…And why they aren’t the end of the world
So, yes, sex is sexy, fun, sultry, etc., but when you are in an intimate situation with someone, all your most private bits and pieces exposed to them, there are bound to also be some embarrassing situations. I know I’ve had them. I don’t really know anyone who hasn’t, to be honest. But for some reason, we always seem to get hung up on these embarrassments and think that they are somehow indicative of our sexual prowess and general ability to be successful at life. I thought it might be fun to share a few [anonymous] sex stories, some of which could fit in a comedy, others which are entirely cringe-worthy. However bad they may be, though, they all turned out okay in the end.
Blow Job/Blow Chunks: “During freshman year, I was fooling around with this guy, giving him a blow job, which was fine; I’d done it before and never had a problem. But for some reason that particular night, my gag reflexes kept acting up. I didn’t want to say anything and ruin the moment, though, so I just kept going with it. Bad idea. Just as he was getting close to finishing, he pushed my head down a little further, triggering my gag reflex, and I threw up all over his lap. I felt so bad and was completely embarrassed, but we got his sheets in the laundry and showered together, and all in all, had a pretty decent night.”
Walking in the Rain: “I had been seeing a guy who lived in the same dorm as me on and off during sophomore year. He moved off campus junior year, and I thought we were probably done hooking up, but one night (early morning, really) he called me out of the blue and asked me to come to his place. Against my better judgment, I went. We slept together, and he promptly passed out. Not wanting to be seen by his housemates in the morning, I snuck out and walked back up to campus at 5am in the rain and sleet. Needless to say, I knew better than to answer his next booty call!”
House Hookup Horror: “I was at a guy’s house this fall after a Slegion, and we were both in his bed, naked, when all of a sudden one of his housemates just walks straight into the room, no knock or anything! Apparently the guy I was with had forgotten to lock the door. I know most of his housemates, by face if not by name, so I was super embarrassed that one of them saw me like that! Fortunately, it turns out that the guy who walked in was really drunk and didn’t remember a thing about it the next day.”
Like most things in life, these situations sucked in the moment but looking back, eh, there are truly worse things that could happen.
Stay sexy, St. Olaf,
H.