SLU Horoscopes

Horoscopes. They’re so in right now. What’s even better though is that now there is a SLU edition. If you want to know what’s coming down the line for you then  look no further, because you are about to find out. Are these predictions backed by science? No, but are they true? Completely.

 

Aries

It's been a hectic start to the year and you need to blow off some steam. If you are 21, get your besties together for a ‘wine wednesday’ and chill out with your gal pals. If you’re underage don’t worry, grab a friend or two and hit up the sauna for a relaxing sweat. You can tell them about that funny thing that happened in class and get caught up on all the gossip. Plus you will probably see a guy’s abs and they will be *great*.

 

Taurus

You are on a roll this week! Something great will happen between Tuesday and Thursday and you’ll be in a wonderful mood for the weekend. Be sure to enjoy it but don’t be careless. There is a high probability that you will lose your fracket and/or forget your student ID somewhere and get locked out of your dorm, but remember that you can’t win them all.

                 

 

Gemini

You are going to spill something on your jeans and then all the washing machines are going to be full. Bummer. Don’t worry too much though, by the end of the week you will be in an amazing mood once that thing you’ve been thinking about comes true on Thursday. Also, call your mom this week because she really wants to hear from you.

 

Cancer

There’s a guy in your future and he’s wearing jorts! Sparks will fly this Friday when you bump into a new flame whilst showing off that hip hop move that you learned on Youtube at Wet Hot. Don’t worry, he’ll be very impressed and you will definitely be seeing him again soon. Also, you will oversleep next Monday so set three alarms just to be safe.  

 

Leo

When you go to the gym this week the last treadmill will be taken and you are going to have to wait for a while. You may be annoyed at first, but by waiting around or trying out a new machine you will meet someone new who may become your BFF or at least you’re gym buddy. Smile and be open to others. An amazing new friend is just around the corner.

 

Virgo

This is the week to spice up your life and try something new! Get creative with your Pub order, buy a new outfit online, give that cute boy in your math class your phone number. Your confidence is shining so be bold, wear something cute, post that selfie and rock on.

 

Libra

Get out of the SLU bubble this week and take a little trip off campus. Maybe it is hiking Mt. Azure, maybe it is going to Jake’s for a delicious dinner or maybe it is just heading to Walmart to replace everything that you forgot at home. Whatever it is, you need a change of scenery and getting off campus will refresh and revitalize you.

 

Scorpio

That test/project/paper/quiz you were worrying about? You’re going to do fine. More than fine even. Have faith in your own abilities and know that you can tackle anything. Plus, when you are finished you can treat yourself to your favorite snack at the Pub (or maybe even a trip to Stewart’s) to celebrate your success.

 

Sagittarius

Make time for yourself this week, whether that means taking a well deserved nap, going for a nice walk with a close friend, or finding somewhere private to power through your homework. You’ve been all over the place, doing everything with everyone, and now it’s time to break out the facemasks and focus on YOU.

 

Capricorn

There is a lot on your mind and now is the time to let it all out. Ask for help if you need it, let your friends know how much they mean to you, and tell that guy how you really feel. Open up to those around you and you will feel amazing. On a side note, your Pub order will get lost this week and you will have to rush to get to class. It’s just the way it is.

 

Aquarius

You may think the Ticker is loud and gross, but this weekend will change your mind. They are going to play all of your favorite songs and you are going to have a blast and maybe meet a special someone. Hoorayy! You will also tell yourself and your friends that you aren’t going to get Sergi’s, but you will. Enjoy it.

 

Pisces

Start saying ‘yes’ more this week. In fact, just say yes to everything. You are surrounded by amazing possibilities and now more than ever is the best time to reach out and grab onto them. Should you join that club? Yes. Should you go study with your new friends from class? Yes. Should you go to that party? Definitely! Just keep throwing some yes’s around and wonderful things will happen.

 

Photos: Bibi Magazine, Giphy.com